Shorts Page #2

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What about your friend Nose?

Don't you play with him anymore?

Toby, you need friends.

Friends are very important.

Look at your dad and I.

We're the best of friends.

Oh, he has plenty of friends at school,

Mom. They can't wait to see him.

In fact, I hear he has

his own welcoming committee.

That's just a nice way

of saying "bullies at school."

I know I'm not the only kid

in the world to get picked on...

...but my situation is unique

in a few ways.

Hey, metal mouth.

Got another date with the trash can.

Hold on.

This is Cole Black, son of Mr. Black.

If you're thinking this is the worst kid

in the whole school, wait.

He's got a sister.

Helvetica Black, the leader of the pack.

Heh, heh. Wimp.

Shall we do this?

I just realized something.

I know why you have them

beat up on me every day.

Because I hate you?

Because you love me.

Ooh...

That's right, isn't it?

We're both outsiders.

- We're both ignored.

- No.

We both have railroad tracks

for braces.

We're Ionely and boring

and always getting in trouble...

...because we have nothing else

better to do.

So you're head over heels in love with me

and that makes you...

...furious.

Am I right?

How about...

...no?

So I'm not a psychologist.

My science report today is about...

...science.

Oh, man, I just forgot it.

Um...

The scientific part of it,

which would be, um...

...science.

This fish is the only friend

I have in this dump.

How you doing?

Don't get me wrong,

it's a really good school.

It's just the people in it that suck.

In olden times, they burned

scientists and they called them witches...

...because the townspeople

didn't understand science...

...and they thought it was magic.

Like using a magic rock

to make wishes come true.

- But I have a hypenothesis.

- Hypothesis.

Loogie, you didn't do your homework,

did you?

Yeah, I did, but a crocodile ate it.

Really, I'm serious.

Next presenter.

Scientists who study wasps...

...have long observed aggressive behavior

in stronger females...

...towards the weaker males

of the colony...

...including threats of stinging

and mauling.

But recently, they have discovered

that some females...

...will force the male headfirst

into an empty cell in the nest.

Behavior known as "male stuffing."

I'd like to demonstrate this phenomenon

using a trash can and a volunteer.

Toe Thompson?

- Hey, my name is Toby...

- Shh.

The Blinkers are going for the record.

They've been in a stare-off

since second period.

What's the record?

Longer than you have to live.

Candy bars?

Why do you let yourself

get bullied like that?

I don't really think I have a choice.

Sure you do.

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