Setup

SIRENS. LOUD.

THEN:

EXT. BOSTON - CITY STREETS - NIGHT

A POLICE CRUISER flings itself down a city block, sirens

screaming, tailing a GRUNGY SEDAN.

The two do their best stock car impressions, hopping in and

out of traffic, jockeying to gain the upper hand --

The sedan gambles on a skidding turn around a corner. The cop

calls. Raises. Takes the turn at speed.

BOOM -- a throng of trash cans topple. Game over.

As they continue to race off in search of danger, CAMERA

hangs behind and VOLUME BARS appear on screen, ticking up.

Camera floats backward through the electromagnetic waves and

wider to REVEAL... that this has all been on a TELEVISION.

INT. TESS & JENNA’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The volume ticks up again as camera loses interest in the TV,

turning its attention toward a nearby bedroom to hear:

GRUNTING AND MOANING. Yes, that kind.

INT. TESS’ BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Now inside the bedroom, the noises are clearly coming from

TESS, 29, and her date-of-the-night, CLINGER, whose real name

isn’t important.

Tess is a walking tornado: a whirlwind force of nature who’s

probably sucked up at least one of every drug at some point.

Clinger slinks down under the sheets, now going down on Tess

with boisterous enthusiasm. Tess, however, couldn’t be more

bored. She’s on her PHONE, texting someone named JENNA:

TESS:
“WHAT NOW”

JENNA:
“THE COPS ARE CHASING THE GUYS”

TESS:
“WOW THAT WAS POETRY DID YOU GO TO OXFORD”

JENNA:
“AREN’T YOU A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW”

2.

Tess snaps a PHOTO with Clinger under the sheets. Send.

JENNA:
“UNSUBSCRIBE”

TESS:
“LOVE YOU TOO”

Tess hides the phone and taps Clinger on the shoulder. He

rises from the sheets with a doe-eyed grin.

CLINGER:

What’s wrong, Tessy-Wes?

TESS:

Nothing. I’m just tapping out.

CLINGER:

Have you orgasmed?

TESS:

I have before, yes.

CLINGER:

I can keep going if you want.

Tonight is Ladies’ Night.

TESS:

Oh... no. And let’s maybe not call

it that. But thank you.

CLINGER:

Just the kind of guy I am. I’m a

giver, not a taker.

TESS:

Good, because “taker” sounds a

little rapey.

Clinger laughs, too hard.

CLINGER:

Tess, you’re like, super funny.

He yawns, snuggling up to Tess. The last thing she wants.

TESS:

Wellp, I guess it’s about time you-

CLINGER:

Goodnight-

TESS:

Fell asleep here... ugh...

3.

Wide-eyed and trapped, Tess lies still until he falls asleep.

After he does, she wiggles out from under him.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

MOVING BOXES are scattered around the apartment. JENNA, 29,

Tess’ roommate and best friend, packs a box and watches TV.

Jenna has a timid charm that she’s been trying for years to

replace with edge -- like a teenager who could never fully

commit to her punk phase.

Tess enters and makes her way to the couch. GWEN, 20s, their

clingy idiot third roommate, is unfortunately also present.

JENNA:

Hi, my name is Jenna and I’d like

to take a moment to talk to you

about personal space.

TESS:

Pass.

She sits next to Jenna and immediately reaches for her wine.

JENNA:

Exhibit A, your honor!

TESS:

I don’t want a full glass!

GWEN:

You can share mine.

TESS:

You have mono.

GWEN:

That was like two years ago.

Jenna yanks the glass as Tess talks to Gwen, spilling wine.

TESS:

Thanks a lot, Gwen.

Tess reaches into a nearby BOX and pulls out a shirt.

JENNA:

Dude, I just finished packing that.

TESS:

Don’t remind me.

4.

She swaps her shirt, putting Jenna’s new one on.

TESS (CONT’D)

Who am I supposed to hang out with

once you’re gone? Her?

GWEN:

Ooh, yeah. We can have sleep-overs!

TESS:

(too aggressive)

Every night is a sleep-over when

you live in the SAME PLACE, GWEN.

Tess moves to a PIANO in the corner, opens the bench’s seat

and pulls WEED and a PIPE out. Sits back down. Lights up.

JENNA:

What’s this one’s name?

TESS:

I want to say Steven.

JENNA:

Wow, I thought you’d be through all

the normal names by now.

Tess jabs Jenna in the leg --

JENNA (CONT’D)

Oh, now you get to D.V. me when I

try to compliment your womanly

conquests?

TESS:

F*** off, you were not.

Another play-punch from Tess.

JENNA:

What if I had been abused and this

was like, some sort of trigger?

That’s highly insensitive.

TESS:

I can deal with being

hypothetically insensitive.

Gwen grabs at the pipe, but Tess hands it to Jenna instead.

Tess pulls out her phone and opens a DATING APP -- already on

the prowl for someone new. Swipe and click. Swipe and click.

5.

JENNA:

What’s wrong with this guy?

TESS:

He’s a total clinger, he was

proposing with his eyes already.

GWEN:

How did you hear it?

JENNA:

Shut up, Gwen.

TESS:

Plus, his moves were just not doin’

it for me. I had to call a timeout.

JENNA:

Why not fake it?

TESS:

Faking it is for cowards. Mother

Earth gave us mouths for words, not

just for blowies. Read a book.

GWEN:

Did he blink the proposal to you?

JENNA:

Please. Fake orgasms are the car

alarm panic button of sex. It’s too

late to lock that sh*t up so you

just honk the horn and hope he’s

finished robbing your dignity.

TESS:

Are we still talking about me?

‘Cause if you mean Todd, I’d highly

reconsider this move-in sitch.

This time, Jenna rears back to jab Tess --

TESS (CONT’D)

Trigger!

GWEN:

Can you see what I’m thinking?

Gwen stares at Tess, blinking in a pattern.

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