Santa's Slay Page #6

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The house of heathens.

While these people | are undeniably moral sinners,

they are nonetheless members | of this community...

and therefore deserve | our condolences.

So pray with me, | if you will, for the salvation

of Crystal Candy...

Sierra Rains...

Dixie Wrecked,

Tess Tickler...

We're closed.

Sorry, Santa. | We're closed.

It's Christmas. You should know that | better than anybody.

What's the matter with you?

You wanna eat? | Thai Chung across the street.

A very nice brunch buffet.

Schmuck.

You've come | to the wrong deli, fatso.

Here's some stocking stuffers,

you just wrecked the store.

Piece of sh*t!

Oy.

Hi, Nicholas.

Hey.

What's up?

Do you have any gum?

We're all out. The driver that was | supposed to make the delivery

got his butt fried on a stripper pole | over at Gold Diggers.

Heard it on the police scanner.

Yikes, that's below average.

This is all we got left.

Hmm, I've never heard | of Smokir Gum.

What the hell, | sounds hot.

Cool. It's $2.39.

Out of a five?

You know, | for such a small town,

I've never seen you before.

Just moved here, homeboy.

Too much damn violence | in the 'hood.

Car two, when you have a chance, | can you go to 313 Main?

There's been a report | of some vandalism.

- Oh, you betcha. | - That's Heaven Scent.

Hey.

Merry Christmas.

Nicholas.

There is a Santa Claus.

I thought you people | didn't even believe in him.

You...

No, no.

No.

All right, hold it right there.

- All right, what are your names? | - Rabinowitz.

Rabinowitz? Rabin...

- All right, what about you? | - Shlomo Lipschitz.

Shlomo? | Like the replay or what?

What in the hell | do we have here?

Oh.

Looks like someone punched out | Mr. Greers festival of lights.

Hey, Shlomo there says | he saw someone in a Santa suit

- outside the store. | - A Santa suit?

- Is that what he said? Are you sure? | - Okay.

Something just isn't kosher here.

We're taking you down | to the station for a little questioning.

Potts, grab that Amish group | outside, too.

Come on, kid.

All right, watch your head there, | Yitzkak.

- Hello, is Mary there? | - Yeah, hold on.

- Hello? | - Mac.

- Hey, did you hear about Heaven Scent? | - I know, I was there.

- What? Where are you now? | - I'm at the police station.

I've gotta talk to you. | Can you come pick me up?

- Yeah, I'll be right there. | - Okay, thanks.

Yuleson. Nicholas Yuleson?

Captain Caulk will see you now.

Don you now your gay apparel.

We got an eye-witness account | that a man dressed as Santa Claus

was seen leaving the store about | the same time you said you arrived.

Captain, this might be something | that predates all of us.

Santa Claus is not a myth | or a legend.

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