Santa's Slay Page #3

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but Mrs. Talbot said | you've always hated Christmas.

The heck with that old hag!

I don't see any reason | to commercialize Santa.

Besides, he hasn't always been | that loveable poster boy for Coca-Cola.

Oops.

Sorry.

Why? What for?

Oh God!

- You didn't. | - I said I was sorry.

Grandpa, I want the truth | about Christmas.

And no, I'm not asking you to tell me | that Santa Claus isn't real.

I'm a little too old | for that discussion.

I'd just be a little careful | of what I ask Santa for this year.

What, are we Jewish | or something?

Okay.

Come on, follow me.

You're full of surprises tonight.

Oh!

For a lifetime of service?

Grandpa, I had no idea | you were in the military.

I wasrt.

What the hell's that? | The Necronomicon?

If it's the truth you want,

then it's the scary truth | you're gonna have. Sit down.

This is the Book of Claus.

Been in the possession of our family | for countless generations.

What does it say?

English, Gramp.

"In the history of man..."

I don't know why you're afraid | to use your Norse, Nicky.

If you don't practice it, you'll never | be able to speak it or read it.

"In the history of man, there have been | only two immaculate conceptions,

the first being God and the Virgin Mary | and the birth of their son, Jesus.

The second was Satan | with the Virgin Ericka

and the birth | of their son, Santa.

On the anniversary of his birth,

there were always a great number | of unexplained deaths and murders.

This day became known | as the Dag of Mord

or the Day of Slayings.

Eventually, Christianity spread | and when the Dag of Mord arrived,

the townspeople would have | a Mass of Christ or a Christ-Mass,

where they would pray | to their Lord for protection.

In the beginning | of the 11th century,

one of God's angels | took the form of a man."

Carolers... I don't want them | singing around here.

Mary. | Nicky, your friend, Mary.

Come in, come in, | come in, my dear.

Hi.

I hope you like wolverine.

My dad shot it this morning,

you know, with his | Ammo for Animals club.

It's so fresh, you can | almost smell its breath.

Well, thank you.

I didn't realize | I hadrt eaten a thing

until just now.

I don't believe I've ever had | wolverine before.

Oh, well it looks delicious.

I just hope it's not wicked cold.

What are you doing here?

Just trying to spread | some holiday cheer.

- What's this? | - How about you just open it?

You got me a gun?

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, | but what, are you f***ing retarded?

No, you jack-off.

It's more than meets the eye.

You said you always wanted one.

I'm as happy as a Make-a-Wish kid.

There are some people | who don't believe

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