Robin Hood: Men In Tights Page #2

- I gotta get the horse, man.

- Good.

Be right out!

Blinkin!

Master Robin, is that you?

Back from the Crusades?

And alive?

Happy day!

I'm quite sure there was a door there.

Master Robin!

You lost your arms in battle!

Oh, how terrible!

But you grew some nice b*obs!

Blinkin, I'm over here.

Later.

Listen to me.

They've taken the castle!

I thought it felt a bit drafty.

This never would've happened

if your father was alive.

He's dead?

Yes!

And my mother?

She died of pneumonia whilst...

Oh, you were away.

My brothers?

They were all killed by the plague.

My dog, Pongo?

Run over by a carriage.

My goldfish, Goldie?

Eaten by the cat.

My cat?

Choked on the goldfish.

It's good to be home,

ain't it, Master Robin?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What is that?

Your father wanted me

to give you this.

He said that inside is the key...

...to the greatest treasure

in all the land.

May I keep it?

No, I think I ought

to honour my father's wishes.

Of course.

Come, Blinkin.

Let us leave this

depressing foundation.

We have much to do,

and less time to do it in.

Hey, Robin, wait up.

Oh. Well done.

He's fast, but I caught his ass.

- Who's that?

- Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo.

A Jew? Here?

No, no. Not a Jew. Ahchoo.

Hey, put it there.

How do you do?

I've been better.

What's that?

Help me! Help me!

Save me!

Save me!

Looks like a runaway white boy.

All right, steady on.

What's the matter?

They're after me.

Who is?

Over that boy hand!

Hand over that boy.

Who demands it?

The Sheriff of Rottingham.

What has the boy done?

He was poaching in the king's forest.

He deered to kill a king's dare.

Dared to kill a king's deer.

And this is an offence?

One punishable by death.

Where have you been?

Fighting with King Richard

in the Crusades.

Unfortunately, my father couldn't

get me into the National Guard.

How dare you talk to me in that fashion!

Who are you?

I am Robin of Loxley.

I've heard of you.

They say you're handy with a sword.

Let's find out!

What happened?

I was angry at you before, Loxley...

...but now I'm really pissed off!

Pissed off?

If I was that close to a horse's wiener,

I'd worry about getting pissed on.

This wasn't a very smart thing

for you to have done.

I'll pay for this!

You'll pay for this!

Kill them!

Wait!

I've changed my mind.

Wise decision.

So until we meet again...

...have a safe journey.

Mind the big rocks!

Shut up, you bloody fools!

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Thank you for saving me life, me lord.

I'll tell every man that

there is one who is not afraid...

...to stand up to Rottingham.

Good. Tell them that. And tell them

I vow to put an end to the injustice.

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