Red Ball Express Page #2

Every man in the E.T.O...

who isn't shooting

or kicking Krauts out of their holes...

is going to find himself

pushing a truck.

All right, gentlemen.

We'll reassemble here at 1300,

put all the plans

together and get this Red Ball rolling.

Ten-hut!

I'd give a six-hour pass

if I knew what this was all about.

I already did.

I still don't know.

Then stop beatin'

your brains out thinkin'.

You do guess it right; they'll

change the whole thing, even if they have to lose the war.

This is the highest-price

quiz show of all times.

We're in the transportation

corps, aren't we? That means we'll be driving trucks.

Yeah. The kind of work

they don't care who does.

Trucks! Who wants to drive a truck?

Nobody.

And most of all me. Somebody

oughta tell the government what's goin' on over here.

A year and a half we train.

The Fightin' 104th, they call us.

And I know what it means. Only

104 of them are gonna fight.

- The rest of us are gonna

wind up as wheel jockeys. - Why don't you stop beefin'?

Drivin' a truck is

the softest touch in the world.

Ya sit down

all day long.

Ya pick up some stuff here.

Ya put it over here.

Nobody breathin'

down your neck. Ya carry a couple jugs of cognac.

And mademoiselles...

What they won't do for a ride...

and a gallon of gasoline

to take home to Papa.

Can't be done.

Hey, you make it

sound like heaven.

I wouldn't even wanna

drive a truck in heaven.

You know, I don't know

the first thing about one of these gadgets.

It's a cinch. Take you

ten minutes to learn.

Back in the States,

I pushed rigs from one coast to the other.

- All kinds of weather:

rain, snow, desert. - Yeah?

Yeah. Let me tell you

about the time I was on the Mojave Desert run.

It was 120 in the shade,

and I was loaded with popcorn.

All of a sudden, this stuff

started to pop.

Boom, boom, boom.

Would you believe it?

By the time I got to Phoenix,

all I had to do

was add the butter and the salt.

Yeah.

Very entertaining.

Oh, that was nothin'.

Once I was drivin' in the Rockies, see...

Rockies?

- Yeah.

- I pushed a few rigs over those hills myself.

Oh? Pretty cold,

wasn't it?

Hey, what are you

workin' on there, a formula for a secret weapon?

This? This, my friend,

is my future fortune.

The first real novel

that's gonna come out of this war.

Well, what are you gonna call it?

How do I know?

Haven't finished it yet.

What, what, what, why, why, why.

Look, Shakespeare, you write

anything about this outfit, leave me out of it, will ya?

I'm beginnin' to feel like

an end man in a minstrel show.

Then why don't you

tell a joke?

Aw, come on.

He was only kiddin'.

Unit, halt!

Left face.

Rest.

All right, you men,

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