R.I.P.D.

---

You think you've

had a bad day at work?

I think I got you beat.

That's not me.

Nope, that's my partner.

Suck it!

There I am.

Three or four days ago, I

didn't know this world existed.

But three or four days ago,

I wasn't in the Rest

In Peace Department.

Boo!

I heard you

coming a mile away.

Look at this, French girl gets

the drop on Boston's finest.

You got the drop on me, huh?

Mmm-hmm.

But I feel like

a genius right now.

I couldn't have

planned this better.

Well, genius, there is an

orange tree in the backyard.

How did that get there?

Oh, yeah, there is an orange

tree in the backyard.

How weird.

Hmm.

I don't know

how it got here.

Me neither.

You know it's a symbol of

prosperity, don't you?

No, I've never

heard that.

His,yeah.

Ask anyone in Florida.

No, you're crazy.

This tree is never gonna

make it through the winter.

We might not make

it through the winter

in this freezing

little house!

I love our

freezing little house.

You do, do you?

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah?

But don't you want more?

You're always

worried about money.

Don't you want

a real house? A car?

I don't worry

about money, you do.

I have everything

I need right here.

My husband, with me.

Well, you'll

always have that.

I gotta go to work.

I'll tell you when

you can go to work.

Oh, really?

Mmm-hmm.

Hey!

Watch that ankle.

I love you, baby.

Bye. Love you.

Got my picture in

a trophy case, I see.

Look at that.

Already immortalized.

Right place, right time.

What can I say?

Hey, Bobby.

Hey.

Murphy! Jesus, get a

robe or something.

You're asking too

much of that towel.

Morning, partner.

Morning.

Hey, guys.

Love to have you at the union

meeting Monday. BOTH: Oh!

No, no!

Sweet Jesus, Murphy.

I will shoot that thing.

That's pretty

devastating.

It's gonna be a while before

I get that image out.

Hey,

what did you do with yours?

I buried it.

Really?

I thought you were joking about that.

But it's not the worst idea.

It's gold,

you bury it. Right?

Listen, Bobby.

I'm out.

You're out?

Look.

Nothing has to

change for you.

You do whatever you want, but I'm

putting mine in evidence. It's done.

Nicky, I said

I would move it for us.

I'll take care of everything.

That's not what I'm

talking about, Bobby.

I'm talking about the way she

looked at me this morning,

I knew.

Look, we went in there to make

a drug bust, which we did.

We didn't expect this gold

to fall into our laps.

We weren't looking

for it, but it happened.

The way I see it,

you do it for Julia.

For your future together.

It's simple.

No, she's happy.

I'm not gonna risk that.

I'm sorry, buddy.

You're right.

I hate it

when you're right.

We gotta turn

the whole thing in.

There goes the speedboat.

Look.

You don't have to worry, I'm

not wagging my finger at you.

You do whatever

you want to do.

No, it's bothering me, too.

So, let's grow old

and poor together.

Listen up, we got Garza.

We got an address.

Wait, you got Garza? You

got actual eyes on him?

An informant gave up

his whole met operation.

He's there, we got him.

Okay, we're

in business, partner.

Get another picture

in the trophy case.

You know how long we've been

waiting for Garza to slip up.

This guy's a meth dealer, a cop killer.

He's got 30 guys with him.

He's not gonna go easy.

Now, stand by for inspiring,

motivating words

from Detective Bobby Hayes.

How about we don't

get shot today?

That's great advice.

You're a good cop.

Detective Hayes advises

we should avoid getting shot.

And also, everybody should put

their charm bracelets on now.

Hey, that's

my grandmother's

Saint Christopher

medal, jackass.

It's adorable.

I wear it for protection.

It's for protection?

Well, this stops bullets.

Yours stops you

from getting dates.

Let's go!

Move it! Move it!

Let's go!

On my lead. Let's put

them on their heels.

Hey. Be safe,

will you?

Knock, knock.

Police officer!

Take

the stuff out of here.

Bag the stuff!

Bag the stuff!

I see Garza.

He's on the catwalk!

Damn it! Garza's

out the south window.

Jesus!

Whoa. That was close.

What the hell are you doing?

You almost got me.

But,

I can't let you

turn that gold in.

What?

My husband, with me.

Tough day.

It's normal to be a little

tongue-tied at first.

I want you to know

that I'm here to help you.

I've sat in that chair.

So take your time.

Ease into it.

Ease into what?

Come on, genius.

I know you can get there.

This is a joke.

Hilarious. Ha-ha-ha.

I'm dead?

Let's be honest,

being a dirty cop

is one of the higher

shot-in-the-face-percentage jobs.

That's not who I am.

Really, pretty boy?

How did it feel as you were

headed towards Judgment?

Comfortable?

Feel like you

were bound for glory?

Or were you a little worried

that you were going down?

Ithoughtso.

You're lucky, Nick.

You have skills that we want.

So we're giving you a choice.

You can take your

chances with Judgment,

or,

you can join the R.I.P.D.

The R.I.P.D?

Rest In Peace Department.

I get it. It's cute.

Simply put

we find dead people that have

managed to escape Judgment.

We ship them off back down

to where they belong.

The tour is 100 years.

If you say yes, we'll send you back

down to Boston, your home turf.

I'll do it.

That's not gonna work.

What's not gonna work?

I said I'm in.

I know what you're thinking. You got

rooked, you want your old life back.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote