Piled Higher and Deeper Page #3

It's just rude.

Uh, how's your thesis going?

Come on, why don't you just ask her weight and age while you're at it? Gosh!

This is the fume hood, a.k.a. the community storage closet.

That chemical will kill you instantly.

That one will kill you eventually.

That one will dissolve all the bones in your body.

And don't even look at that one if you're ever planning on having kids.

And those two--uh-oh--should not be that close together.

And this is The Machine.

[scary music]

I've always wanted to work on the cutting edge of technology.

It was cutting edge when I started.

Why waste a million dollars on a newer model

when it's cheaper to just waste a million grad student hours?

Which brings us to our business.

Professor Smith has asked me to teach you how to use it,

but I have to warn you, learning to use it

will make you more indispensable to the lab,

but it will also make everyone else come to you with their projects.

Do you accept this great responsibility?

I do.

Ok, well, here is the manual.

That's it?

Okay, you want to know the real secret to making this thing work?

It took my first decade in grad school to figure that out.

So, congratulations. Here is your immunity idol.

You can't get kicked off the island now.

Welcome to the Lab.

Hey Mike!

Do you have any more advice?

Yeah, don't go for your Ph. D.

[music]

"Hi, Cecilia!

-- Oh, hi!"

"Hey, Cecilia!

-- Hi!"

Would you like to dance?

Looks like you need some help.

Oh.

Thanks.

Actually, I don't really know how to dance this.

Ah, well, it's easy. It's the triple step.

You take three steps in syncopation.

Syncopation?

It just means quickly. So you start with your left foot forward.

"Your left?

-- Uh-huh, always the left"

Forward, back, now cha cha cha.

Forward, back, cha cha cha!

Forward, back--

"Cha cha cha!

-- There you go!"

I take it you're not a regular at the club?

No, this is the first time. Can you tell?

Well, it's just a practice session.

We're really gearing up for the big competition next term.

Wow, I didn't know it was so popular.

Actually, I read a study once that said that people who are normally

more uncomfortable in social situations really love ballroom dancing.

It's a more structured form of interaction.

There's an agreed-upon set of rules, and if you follow them,

you're pretty much guaranteed not to embarrass yourself.

And what are these rules?

First of all, if someone asks you to dance, you shouldn't say no.

Also, you can't ask the same person to dance twice in a row.

And, you have an out. When the song stops, the dance is over.

They don't play tracks continuously like they do at other clubs

Doesn't 'syncopation' mean 'out of sync'?

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