National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Page #3

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...an angel gets his wings.

Folks!

Merry Christmas.

Look how big you've gotten.

Merry Christmas.

Mom.

Knock on the door.

Doesn't Nora look old?

You promised, you promised...

They took a pint of fluid

out of my lower back.

You see this mole? This mole on my neck?

You think it's changing color?

No. You keep touching it.

It's getting redder.

I got hemorrhoids.

Could you believe that?

- Oh, Mother.

- Isn't that terrible?

- You're not getting the space...

- After what you did to my car?

I'm doing the parking.

Come and help me with the...

Mom, they're not sleeping in my room.

I'm gonna go crazy...

Sweetheart, your grandma Nora's got

a real painful burr on her heel.

If you rub it for me,

I'll give you a quarter.

- A quarter.

- And I'll give Audrey a quarter, too.

I'm going to put my car in the garage!

I'll park the cars.

This is what Christmas is all about.

I'll park the cars

and check the luggage, and...

I'll be outside for the season.

We'll have the best-looking house in town.

I've always wanted to do this.

That's a lot of lights, Dad.

I'm sure it's a lot of work,

but if I'm out in the cold...

...and I'm committed

to decorating the house...

...I'm gonna do it right

and I'm gonna do it big.

You want something

you can be proud of, don't you?

Yeah, I guess so.

Sure you do.

You think you might be overdoing it, Dad?

Russ, when was the last time

I overdid anything?

Come on, unravel these.

You have to check every bulb.

A little knot here. You work on that.

I'll get the other box.

I hope he falls and breaks his neck.

I'm sure he'll fall. But I don't think we're

lucky enough to have him break his neck.

Let's go.

These gusty winds appear to be playing

havoc with the giant nutcracker float.

At this point, I can't even see the nuts.

They must have blown away.

But nothing is going to dampen the spirit

of this holiday crowd, I can tell you that.

Oh, here they are. Here come the nuts.

Would it be indecent

to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?

Can we at least forbid them

to answer the phone?

Alexander called this morning

and Grandpa Clark told him...

...I couldn't come to the phone

'cause I was going to the bathroom.

We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.

Everybody?

Do you sleep with your brother? Do you

know how sick and twisted that is?

I'm sleeping with your father.

Don't be so dramatic.

I have nightmares about what he does in

bed alone when I'm not lying next to him.

I don't know what to say

except it's Christmas...

...and we're all in misery.

Ellen, are you smoking again?

No!

Dad, where do you want these reindeer?

Just put them on the lawn, Russ.

I can't find the Santa Claus.

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