Man Up Page #3

I would lend you my copy

but I need it for my date.

- Why do you need a book for a date?

- It's how we'll recognise each other.

Oh, it's a setup? They always work.

They often work if the matchmaker

has done their homework.

All successful relationships are based

on whether you're both outdoorsy...

- Read it.

- Don't need to.

- It was a best seller.

- So was The Da Vinci Code.

- Another excellent book.

- Not an excellent book.

- I think it's what you need.

- Why does everyone tell me that?

If they're always telling you,

you should listen.

I think you need to shh.

You need to shh your mouth.

- You want me to shh?

- I do, yeah. It would be great.

- I'm only suggest...

- It's time.

I think... I think we're done.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now arriving at our final

destination, London Waterloo.

- Sorry. Excuse me.

- I say.

Ow. Sh*t.

What?

- Excuse me, please.

- What?!

- There you go.

- Cheers.

- Where the f*** are you?

- Blimey, I'm not that late, am I?

Somebody threw themselves

on the track again.

I don't blame them,

there's so many delays.

Hey, what a great way for us to

recognise each other. What a great idea.

Although I think it would have been hard

to miss you under that huge clock.

No, no, no...

What do we do in terms of saying hello?

I never know where to pitch it.

Is it a handshake? Is it a hug?

Is it formal?

You know what, we're adults.

Let's just go in... Too soon for that?

Hello, there.

Oh, my God, that's not your

emergency exit phone call already?

I haven't had a chance

to use any of my best lines yet.

That wasn't one of them,

if you were worried.

Listen, I'll handle this, madam.

Hello, caller. Yes, we have met.

I am not a complete psychopath

and we've really hit it off.

She will call you later

with all the gory details.

So thank you for calling and goodbye.

There, done.

Alright! So, book, check.

And clock, check.

And blind date. Check!

Usually in this situation I would say

something and you'd say something back.

And then we'd talk about what we're

gonna do and exchange ideas.

You know, sort of

"quid pro quo, Clarice".

In hindsight, that wasn't the best

impression to do on a first date

because it... it brings to mind...

Anyway, I'm talking a lot

and I know you can sense it.

So I'm gonna just keep going

and I'm gonna start the bidding

with a drink on London's

fashionable South Bank.

So, as the book says,

what are you waiting for?

I am waiting for you.

- Good. Good.

- Yeah.

OK. Shall we...? After you, my lady.

I'm not a knight.

Yeah, let's do it.

We'll go out this way...

What do you think?

Good stuff for the first few hours?

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote