M*A*S*H Page #4

HAWKEYE:

Well, there it is. Jesus!

DUKE:

The spot we picked to spend the

winter. Maybe we ought to look a

little harder.

BRIEF TIME LAPSE:

INT. MASH MESS HALL – DAY

As Hawkeye and Duke enter. The large tent has two floor levels

separated by a railing into a section for officers and one

for enlisted men, the two groups being much closer to

numerical equality here than in an ordinary military

installation. There is a further voluntary piece of

segregation within the officers' section: the men – medical

officers plus a couple of administrative officers and a

helicopter pilot – are at one long, rectangular table; the

nurses, ranging in rank from second lieutenant to captain,

at another.

Hawkeye starts to lead the way to an empty table in the

officers' section, but Duke calls his attention to the

outstanding feature of the nurses' table: LIEUTENANT DISH,

24, blonde and clearly, even in her winter fatigues, the

sexiest looking nurse in military history.

DUKE:

What do you think of that piece of

scenery, Yankee boy?

HAWKEYE:

Finest kind. We'll sit where we can

get the best view.

Accordingly, they select seats close to the nurses and facing

the Lieutenant. Some personnel are on duty in the hospital

during this lunch period, but beside Dish, two of the

following three nurses with whom we will become acquainted

are present here:

KNOCKO, who is black, a captain in her thirties, solidly

built, very strong and very competent in her job; LESLIE,

also a captain, not more than thirty, bright, attractive,

cheerful, the kind of girl that brings out the latent male

matrimonial instinct but who, strangely, is treated as

inviolate by the by the sex-starved men of the post; and

LIEUTENANT SCORCH, who can't match Dish or Leslie by physical

standards but has the asset of instant availability.

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