Life of the Party Page #3

with anyone else, that is...

I couldn't be...

Serious.

Yeah, exactly.

Hmm... who's serious?

I'm home.

Correction:
I'm here.

I really want to talk to you.

Damn it.

Oh, I'm sorry, buddy.

I didn't mean to wake you up.

Geez!

Mike!

What?

Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I just went over

to the house.

I lost my car keys.

Can you believe it?

Well, hell, stay the night.

Oh, no, no, no. Uh...

I was thinking

I'd borrow some wheels.

Oh, man, my Camry's

in the shop.

Well, I was thinking...

What?

I'll have it back tomorrow

night, I swear to God.

I wouldn't presume, believe me.

But I promised Caroline...

...the blonde.

You remember the blonde?

Anyway, I told her I'd

take her to Ellis Island.

...first thing in the a. M.

Why?

I don't know.

I guess... 'cause

I've been sleeping with her.

You're having sex

with the blonde?

A little.

Nothing overwhelming.

Anyway, I thought I'd do

something with her.

...aside from having sex

...because...

I'm not really proud of it.

She's fine, but I thought

I'd mix it up...

...take her sightseeing.

And Phoebe's?

She's also

having sex.

Not with me, obviously,

or she would have been home.

The point is... No car keys.

I look at this car.

I never drive it.

It's a car, Artie.

Somewhere in the bowels of its

painstakingly polished cylinders.

...it's crying out,

"Drive me. "

Gently, gently...

You are a prince

among friends, friend.

Hey, get out of here.

You got it in low, Mikey.

Shift it, Mikey! Shift it!

The drums roll out.

The trumpet call.

While the people shout.

"Strike up the band"

Hear the cymbals ring?

Callin' one and all.

To the martial swing.

Strike up the band.

Looking good.

Thought we'd toast

your survival.

Thank you.

I forgot the law.

Damn frickin' law.

What? You're cool, man.

You ditched on

Felder's property.

There's no public damage,

there's no...

No, no, no, no, the other law.

An object in motion

will remain in motion.

...until confronted

with an object at rest.

Hence, a car

hitting a tree.

will axiomatically

adversely affect the car.

Sure, I guess.

Makes sense.

Hey, want a slice?

Absolutely not.

Come on,

you got to eat.

One bruised rib.

That makes you luckier

than my car.

Come here.

I will get that pony back

on her wobbly legs, I swear.

Whatever it takes.

Don't worry about the car.

It's you.

No, it's the car.

How did this

get in here?

Hmm... Some wiggy nurse.

Third floor haberdashery.

Are you insane? You're

bringing that in here now?

What, you expect him

to eat hospital food?

The booze, you dimwitted,

imbecilic...

Who gave him a car after he

had 12 for the road, huh?

I didn't know.

What, he was going to steal

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