Kissing Jessica Stein Page #2

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Well, I see great minds

think alike.

Uh, we split the salad. But I think,

as I recall, you ate a little bit more,

including more ofrthe arugula, which

is one ofrthe more expensive greens.

I didn't have any of the goat cheese.

I'm allergic.

No dessert.

Easy enough.

That leaves your portion at $42.73,

and mine at $1 8.1 4.

Beautiful. Perfect.

You have exact change?.

It's so funny,Jessica.

But I go out with a lot of girls.

A lot.

And Ijust-- I don't know.

Ijust freelso--

so comfortable with you,

so at home, so free to be myself.

Normally, I'm a pretty

"self-defecating" guy.

Let me tellyou something.

You're "phat. "

I'd love to see you twirl

in that dress.

- With a P-H.

- Twirl.

Oh, okay.

[ Mumbling ]

- As it were, per se.

- I like the wayyour hair...

- Uh--

-... goes around your head like that.

- You know what I mean?.

- You know?. You know?.

- Whoops! I spilled some.

- What's not to get?.

I thinkwe're connecting,

and I'd like to representyou...

as your accountant

and your boyfriend,

ifthat's--

that's at all possible.

Okay, the New Yorker loves us.

The reviewer is creaming in her pants.

- So exhale, please. Okay?.

- Okay.

His back has been like

solid concrete all night.

Your boyfriend has on

his serial killer face again.

He's scaring

some ofrthe guests.

He's been

a little needy lately.

I'll talk to him.

Oh, hon.

You are late.

I'm sorry. My cab driverwas Ukrainian,

and my Slav is only so-so.

[Woman ]

Soyou wanna do something later?

- I'm gonna be at the library later...

- Oh, yeah?.

- in the 1 6th century archive, nude,

- Mm-hmm.

with a bookmark dangling

precariously off of my dick.

So I'll be waiting foryou.

Oh. Should I bring

anything?.

Justyour

unbelievable body...

andaphoto I.D..

anda library card.

- Pickup.

- Oh, yeah. It's right this way, please.

# You're so readynow#

# The frruit is ripe

fror takin'##

## [ Continues ]

Oh, where have you been?.

I've been waiting foryou all day.

They got me mad busy today.

- Martin, where's Helen?.

- Delivery.

[ Moans ]

Wait. I'm still working.

[Man OverSpeaker]

Sorry, sweetie. Line one.

Jesus Christ.

Okay. Got it.

[ Moans ]

Helen Cooper.

Why are you always doing these things

to destroy this relationship?.

We're not in a relationship.

We're in a situation.

- You have to stop right now.

- Yes, and I'm sureyourwife

feels the same way.

Listen, I gotta baby-sit

this show.

What areyou doing later?.

How's 1 1 :
00 foryou?.

- How's right now foryou?.

- [ Moans ]

Thanks very much.

[Woman ]

How does this art makeyou freel?

Does it turn you on?.

Does it make you hot?.

D.oes it scareyou?

D.oes it minimizeyou as a man?

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