Jane Austen's Mafia! Page #2

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[Vincenzo] Rosa was not

very attractive by Italian standards.

- Rosa, come.

- [Vincenzo] Hardly any body hair.

Come on.

Thanks for carryin' my luggage, pal.

- I'll take my gun.

- [Rosa Screaming]

Don't be a fool.

Cops don't help our kind.

In this country, we gotta

look out for ourselves.

- No!

- Gimme your money.

- Gimme your money.

- Use the gun.

No. I'll use my brain.

It's as big as any bullet.

You won't look so pretty

without a nose.

[Vincenzo] Why don't you

pick a nose your own size?

[Scoffs]

Look at you. You're just a boy.

You think you can stop me? How?

- I'll outsmart you.

- Oh, yeah?

[Vincenzo] Answer me this.

A rooster sits on the peak of a roof.

It lays an egg.

Which-a side will

the egg roll down?

The left. N-No. The right.

- I don't know.

- Neither, my friend.

Roosters don't lay eggs.

Oh!

[Clamato, Thinking]

This was no ordinary kid.

I had a feelin' we'd be

seein' a lot of each other.

Stay in school.

[Sighs]

Thank you.

- I don't even know your name.

- Uh, Vincenzo.

Vincenzo Armani

Windbreaker Cortino. You?

I'm Rosa Versace Blue Blazer

And Matching Skirt Pantucci.

- Are you from Sicily too?

- No, Milano.

My father was in the military.

A lancer.

- Bengal Lancer?

- No, a boil lancer. One of the best.

But then, one day,

there were no more-a boils.

He turned to drink.

We lost him

at a Grateful Dead concert.

[Gasps]

Look! A falling-a star!

They say that if two people

meeting for the first time...

see a falling star,

their wish will come true.

Make a wish, Vincenzo.

[Swelling Noises]

[Man]

I believe in America.

I raised my daughter

in American fashion.

- One day, she went to see a man.

- [Purring]

He got her alone in a room,

held her down in a chair.

When she resisted,

he stuck her with a needle.

Then, when she was helpless,

- he took-a pliers, and...

- [Sniffs]

Look at her, Don Cortino.

Look.

I'm familiar with

this Doctor Mendelbaum.

He's not a dentist, he's a butcher.

He put caps

on the Turteltaub twins.

- I saw them. They looked like beavers.

- [Meowing]

In fact, I have a cord

of wood they cut.

- I'm all set for the winter.

- [Clanging]

- [Cat Yowling]

- [Groaning] Whoops-a-daisy!

[Clattering, Banging]

Ah. I found my keys.

Huh.

I must own a car.

- ## [Dance Orchestra]

- [People Chattering]

A beautiful girl, Don Cortino.

A daughter who has brought

only happiness into our home...

- for seventeen years.

- [Vincenzo] Ugh. Horrible.

Can't really blame the boy.

Aah! Aah!

[Screaming, Clattering]

[Screaming, Crashing Continue]

Get out of here, you bastard.

What is it you request?

[Sighs]

## [Music, Chattering]

[Cat Yowling]

[Whispering, Indistinct]

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