It Felt Like Love Page #2

and I'm hopeful that me

spittin' it soulful

will have me

in the daily postal

flyin' coastal, eatin tofu

like I told you, I know some

who trash rappin'

worried 'bout

the trendin' fashions

So, what's your favorite

way to masturbate?

What?

What's your favorite

way to masturbate?

What? Just tell me.

All right. So, show me.

No.

Just show me.

No.

Come on.

Nope.

No.

Have you ever made out with lila?

I've made out with all

my girlfriends but lila.

I think you should

make out with lila.

Lila?

No. Thanks.

Why not?

'Cause you could have

herpes or something.

Thanks.

I'd rather have herpes than rabies.

Oh.

You've reached the offices of the

president of the United States.

Nah. I'm playing.

This is Sammy.

If I call you back, I call you.

If I don't, then, oh well.

It feels so nice.

Nice?

Really nice.

I really wanna be with you.

Keep going.

Like, I wanna be with you,

be with you.

I don't know.

Why?

'Cause you've been with other guys.

Three.

Three's a lot

when you think about it.

You know, one, two, three.

Is it?

Don't stop.

Why does it bother you?

It doesn't.

Just forget it.

Yo.

Hey, Sammy?

Yeah.

It's lila, Chiara's friend.

You forgot your sh*t here.

Yeah, I... I kind

of need them back.

I'm at work. You can

swing by and grab them.

Um, can I maybe meet you

after work tomorrow?

Look what Patrick got me.

Shh.

Stick your finger in there.

They'll suck on it.

No.

They don't have teeth.

You do it and tell me

what it feels like.

You're scared of everything.

I'm not, but think what you want.

Get on.

Do you get dizzy easy?

No.

Uh-huh.

Boo!

Sorry. I was just taking a piss.

Come on.

This way.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No.

Chiara's always got boyfriends.

Well, that's different.

Why?

'Cause she's needy.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

Do you want something from me?

What would I want anyways?

Oh, f***.

F***.

F***. Sh*t.

What's Chiara doing tonight?

Out with her new boyfriend.

Who's her new boyfriend?

This guy, Patrick.

It's kind of serious.

He gave her a promise ring.

It won't last.

It might.

It won't.

You're so pessimistic.

I'm not pessimistic, but,

trust me, it won't last.

They're in love, so it might.

They're not in love.

Yes. They are.

Oh.

No. No. That's right.

Discipline the animal.

Hear? Try spanking him.

Like this.

Stop.

Yo, does your dog like to get high?

I don't know.

What's the dog's name?

Coffee.

What kind of name is that?

You named your dog after

a hot f***ing beverage?

Ignore them.

They're just being d*cks.

She's so hot.

So hot.

Gross. Why is she

rubbing herself like that?

'Cause it gets her off.

Looks painful.

Her titties are kind of perky.

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