Irma La Douce Page #2

Everybody looked the other way,

everybody kept his mouth shut...

... nobody got hurt,

except maybe an occasional fly.

And then, one day, disaster.

An honest policeman came on the beat.

Coquette. Come here, Coquette.

You naughty girl.

Pardon me, do you have a licence?

- A licence? No.

- It's a violation of ordinance number 56.

Oh, usually they let us get away with it.

Not me. And according to the law,

you're supposed to keep it on a leash.

On a leash?

Oh! Oh, of course.

- I'll remember that.

- Now, just a moment.

What are all you girls doing around here

at this hour of the morning?

I don't know about them,

I'm walking my dog.

- Oh, I see.

- I have to take her out all the time.

- She has kidney stones.

- That's a shame.

Look, it... if you

don't mind my saying so...

Oh, I'm sorry.

I've never seen a girl

in green stockings before.

It matches the ribbon and my underwear.

Green underwear?

- You're new around here, aren't you?

- It's my first day.

- I thought so.

- I've been on the force for six months.

I was stationed at the Bois de Boulogne,

by the lake, where the children play?

- That's where I got this medal.

- For keeping kids off the grass?

I saved a boy from drowning,

mouth-to-mouth respiration.

So they thought I was ready for

bigger things and transferred me here.

- Well, you're going to like it here.

- I'm not so sure.

If I were you, I'd exercise

that dog somewhere else.

- Why?

- Those girls over there.

Something tells me they're streetwalkers.

- No?

- Yes. I can spot 'em six blocks away.

Say, Irma, I just got off work,

so if you're not busy...

- I beg your pardon?

- It's me, Andr, wholesale artichokes.

- I don't need any.

- What the matter with you?

You want me to take my business to Kiki?

- Is this man annoying you?

- It's all right. Not now. Come back later.

Later? I've only got a half-hour.

Look, Officer, there's

a truck double-parked there.

- Now, why don't you do your duty?

- Maybe I will.

- He takes his work very seriously.

- I try.

- See you again sometime.

- I wouldn't be surprised.

- What'll it be, Officer? Cognac?

- No, no. I never drink when I'm on duty.

In fact, I never drink when I'm off duty.

Maybe just a little glass of Vichy water.

Looking for something, Officer?

- What do you know about that hotel?

- Casanova slept there in 1763.

I'm not talking about 1763. Since

I've been here, four couples walked in.

Monday is always a slow night.

Just between us, would you have even

a vague idea what they're doing in there?

I have a very definite idea.

They're making love.

- That's illegal.

- Shows you the kind of world we live in.

Love is illegal, but not hate.

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