Insignificance Page #2

Uh-huh. Nice and clean. Nice and clean.

I bet I know what you want me to do

to come out nice and clean.

You want me to answer yes.

Isn't that right?

- Right.

- Ah. Mmm.

- Yes. Yes would be just fine by us.

- Uh-huh.

And if you couple that with a denunciation

of any Communist ideals you once held...

I mean, that would be a good plus as well.

Uh, and you could mention

a couple of names.

Mm-hmm. Is that all?

Well...

a formal condemnation

of the Soviet arms initiative...

wouldn't do you any harm at all.

Huh.

In confidence between us, Professor,

I'll tell you something.

These hearings

are not gonna go on much longer.

You could be our last great civilian fish.

And what a fish.

I mean, you know everything there is

to know about everything...

the cosmos, space,

"pootons," protons, "clutons."

I mean everything. The Jewish problem.

They call you the mommy and

the daddy of the H-bomb.

A true child of the universe.

Well, I have to tell you something

about all this.

In my lifetime of experiences...

the Swiss authorities

called me a German fascist...

disregarding that I'm Jewish.

But you delicately alluded to that

a moment ago.

And in Germany, by the German fascists...

because I was Jewish,

I was called a Zionist conspirator.

I come to democratic America...

some small-minded people called me

a German fascist and a Zionist conspirator.

And now I presume that you are suggesting

that I'm a Soviet Communist!

Well, listen.

Two weeks ago, two magazines,

at the same time variously called me...

a warmonger and a conscientious objector

in the review of the same speech.

And you know what that speech was? To the

Mozart Appreciation Society of New England.

And...

it's unbelievable.

I'll tell you, on or off the record...

You people like things on the record.

I didn't choose America. I don't care.

Had I but known it.

I was escaping Dachau.

Funny, how you talk

to a good Jew nowadays...

that subject always comes up... Dachau.

That's the same threat to democracy

we're asking you to help us fight now.

World War II had... had very little

to do with Communism.

Had very little to do... Are you kidding?

The whole war was based on a Soviet plot.

- A Soviet plot?

- Yes.

Fifteen million Russians dead...

a Soviet plot?

They're tricky.

Ask yourself this, Professor.

What is left of Europe

that is a threat to the Soviets?

Round one is theirs.

So, what do you say?

I say that you oughta go see a psychiatrist.

No, no, never mind that. They haven't learned

how to treat that degree of lunacy yet.

What I say is, uh... I say good night.

I say we should say good night now.

Oh. It would be a shame, really...

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