Hideous Kinky Page #5

I knew him in, er, the '60s. Quite a dandy.

- Does he still wear those gold waistcoats?

- Probably.

And those little tight, black,

elegant shoes?

Too small for him, with pointed toes.

I'm sure he does. And despicable

red socks, full of goat's cheese.

- Do you ever see him?

- London is such a big place.

It's booming - full of raincoats, pragmatists,

optimists, bank accounts, wives.

- Which is why you're here.

- Which is exactly why I am here. And you?

- Something similar.

- I have a house nearby.

- You must come and visit.

- Oh, Mum, could we?

- Please, Mum.

- Oh, we'll see.

We have to go now.

Here is my card. I have many spare rooms.

- Look at that one!

- They're making funny noises.

Come on.

- Mum, shall we write to Bilal?

- Well, he'll have to write first because I don't know where he is.

So he knows where we are?

No.

If he doesn't know where WE are and we don't know

where HE is, he won't be able to write, will he?

- He probably doesn't want to write.

- Don't we have an address, Mum?

I'm sorry, Mum.

Mum, don't cry.

- Bonjour, Madame. - Bonjour. - Puis-je

vous aider? - Je cherches Mr Santoni.

If she begs for money,

I'll kill her. I'll kill her.

Hello?

Ah, Julia.

I'm afraid you missed quite an average party.

Come, come in.

This is Charlotte.

And this is Monsieur Ben Said.

Do excuse the mess.

- Can I help?

- I'm not sure if that would be an improvement.

- On the contrary - how sweet.

- I'm Bea.

Oh! My God! Why are you hiding?

Not actually hiding, we're sort of exploring.

- Hideous Kinky! - Hideous Kin... -

Bea! How long have you been in Morocco?

About a year.

Tell all.

Father Christmas!

Mussolini!

- Billy Bunter. No! Your father!

- Sheikh Ben Jalil.

- What?!

- That's where Mum's going.

Isn't it, Mum?

The Sufis. And do you know

what to expect of these Sufis?

- Knowledge, I hope. Some kind of guidance.

- Let me tell you.

To start with, sitting around on cushions,

a great deal of illogic,

and even a greater deal more incense.

Days of fasting, interminable amounts of prayer,

and a personal visit from God.

That's our country's tragedy

- this escapism.

I'm not escaping anything.

I want to understand the truth.

You think the truth will just come

and curl up on your lap like a cat?

Be warned. They're quite, quite dangerous

to the mind, these Asian frauds.

- They wouldn't be allowed in Europe.

- But Europe lacks this inner world.

The world is simply the world for

present duties or passing pleasures.

- What's so great about passing pleasures?

- They're more amusing.

Oh, sure! Which is fine, you know.

You know, it's fine for children,

like cornflakes!

Julia, ignore Ben Said

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes