Grumpy Old Men

Synopsis: John and Max are elderly men living next door to each other. They're continuously arguing and insulting each other, and have been this way for over 50 years. One day, Ariel, moves into the street. Both men are attracted to her, and their rivalry steps up a gear.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Donald Petrie
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  1 win & 1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
103 min

The worms are 75 cents.

Chuck, we're talking about

worms not caviar.

You go through that every time.

Where are you going to get worms this

time of year? It's supply and demand.

You could retire from selling me worms.

Throw the beef jerky in too.

Five dollars for the beer

and the worms.

Your old gut can't handle jerky.


Is Pop out there at the shanty?


And the moron?

Lots of ice out there, Gustafson.

Should be room enough for both of you.

Lots of ice out there, Gustafson.

Hi, Dad!

Any luck today?

How the hell should I know?

I just got here.

Mel, she came by the other day and...

...said you'd been snapping.

Like a catfish.

I've had a lot on my mind lately.

I'll tell you what's on my mind.

It's butt-cold out here

and I'm fresh out of beer.

Someone moved into the Clickner place.

A woman.

A woman?

Did you mount her?

Oh, Dad!

Does she have big thighs?

Then what's the problem?

If I was a young fellow like you,

I'd be mounting...

...every woman in Wabasha.

Keep the change.

Hi, Punky.

Hi, John!

The Green Hornet strikes again!

Caught my limit!

You only snagged one.

Two fish are on there, you bonehead.

I throw back what I'm not going to eat.

Yeah, like that 40-pound muskie

you're always yakking about.

It's a shame nobody ever sees you

with these monsters.

You'll love it, Goldman.

Go to work.

What is it?

Oh, my God, they've come for me.

Oh, my God! I....

You see, I was....

Excuse me, but I saw your light on

and I was wondering...

...if I might use your bathroom.


Your toilet is broken?

No, thank goodness.

I don't know, the house seemed so empty

tonight. I do so love bathrooms.

You can tell a lot about a person

from his bathroom.

I didn't know that.

There it is. I can't wait

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Mark Steven Johnson

Mark Steven Johnson (born October 30, 1964) is an American screenwriter, film director, and producer. Johnson was born in Hastings, Minnesota and graduated from California State University, Long Beach. He has written and directed the two comic book based films Daredevil and Ghost Rider as well as the film Simon Birch. His early writing credits are for the film Grumpy Old Men and its sequel Grumpier Old Men. Most recently he directed the film Finding Steve McQueen. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Grumpy Old Men" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 7 Aug. 2020. <>.

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