Grumpier Old Men Page #2

Good afternoon.

It's good to see you, too.

Aren't you beautiful today?

Are you thirsty?

There we go. Drink up.

Drink up.

That's right.

There we go. There we go. Drink up.

Isn't it a glorious afternoon?

It's not bad.

You okay? Feeling all right?

Splendid. Why?

I couldn't help noticing

you were talking to the flowers.

Plants and flowers are

living organisms and...

... they respond to voice and touch

like any other creature would.

You should try it yourself.

I got a cactus in my bathroom,

but we got nothing to say to each other.

I better get going.

See you.

Max!

- Yes?

Listen, I'm...

Look, I'm cooking Cantonese tonight.

Why don't you join us?

I already made other plans.

Are you sure?

Thanks, anyway.

Appreciate it.

What happens when Bonnie and Clyde

turn out to be Bonnie and Bonnie?

"Lesbian Bandits", next on Geraldo.

Oh, lesbians, yummy.

Wait, it's stuck.

Would you...

Yeah, but I like those.

Can I do this?

You must wait.

Why don't we put everything in?

Throw it all in there.

I need to borrow a Phillips screwdriver.

Hi, Jacob. You been here long?

Phillips....

Hey, pop, don't you think it's time

you start dating again?

Who with?

Florence Gilbert, for example,

thinks you're quite a catch.

She looks like Ernest Borgnine.

Is that such

a bad thing?

What about

Jane Clark?

"Jane of the Jungle."

Got more body hair than I do. She's

a fur bearing mammal, for God's sake.

Doris Zabrinski?

I know she's a little heavy

but she loves to fish.

You get her on the boat...

- Doris Zabrinski...

... is dead.

She is?

She choked to death on a stack

of pancakes two weeks ago...

... at the Lions Club charity breakfast.

Wow.

I think it's how she

would've wanted to go.

Listen to me...

you can't sit around waiting

for another Ariel to walk into your life.

Thanks for the Phillips.

What?

Remember when you were a kid...

your mother baked that

rhubarb pie for my birthday?

She swelled up like a balloon.

Broke out in hives.

She didn't know she was allergic.

She knew.

She baked it anyway because

she knew it was my favorite.

Why'd you think of that?

I don't know.

I think about things like

that all the time.

Are you all right?

Get out and let me watch my program.

And close the door when you go.

I don't want those

mosquitoes in here.

They're crazy about my

macaroni and cheese dish.

Hello?

Anybody here?

Hey, wait a second!

- Chiamate la polizia!

My name is Max Goldman.

- Out! Out!

Relax! Would you relax!

- Out! Out! Maria, presto, presto!

Presto, Maria!

- Mamma, che succedere? Fai, che fai?

Mamma, what are you doing?

I'm gonna whack him!

Put that down!

- He try to steal the vino rosso!

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