Goon

Synopsis: Doug Glatt of Orangetown, Massachusetts is floundering in life, he having no real sense of where he fits - having a "thing" as he calls it. He doesn't have the book smarts to become a doctor like his adoptive father or his gay adoptive brother Ira. And he doesn't have the passion that his best friend Pat has for his self-appointed work, hosting a hockey based cable call-in show, Hot Ice. Because his fists and skull are figuratively like steel, Doug is good at the enforcement part of his job as a bouncer despite he having a naturally friendly childlike approach to dealing with people and situations. An incident involving Doug in the stands of an Orangetown Assassins minor league hockey game leads to its coach, Rollie Hortense, offering Doug a tryout with the team as its enforcer, the tryout regardless of the fact that Rollie has no idea if Doug even knows how to play ice hockey (which he doesn't). Learning just enough hockey skills, Doug makes the team. Rollie, however, quickly believes
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Director(s): Michael Dowse
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  1 win & 13 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
82%
R
Year:
2011
92 min
$840,657
Website
414 Views

- F*ck you!

- Get in!

- Go f*ck yourself!

- Bye-bye, bitch.

F*ck you!

Welcome to Orangetown,

motherf*cker.

What the f*ck? You want a piece

of me, you little f*cking faggot?

- Hey, my brother's gay.

- That's it.

- What the f*ck...?

- You filming me, f*cking faggot?

Hey, my brother's GAY!

Motherf*cker!

Ow!

Oh!

Oh, attaboy, Doug.

Kick his f*cking head in.

- Shit!

- Holy f*cking shit.

Look at that face period!

Do you wanna take

that word back, please?

F*ck you, faggot.

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Oh, my God!

Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Prrrr! Rap-pap pop-pop prop!

That's my f*cking

boy boner genocide.

I am pretty sure my f*cking

eyeballs just ejaculated.

Pat, that's it.

We have a very special f*cking

guest - Doug The Thug Glatt.

I'm a big fan. It's a good show.

Speaking of fans, the phones.

Caller, you're blowing Hot Ice.

Hi, there. I was wondering

if you like hot dogs?

- That's a...

- I like hot dogs, but I prefer corndogs

because you don't need a bun for it

Because the bun is all around it

and you can eat it from a stick.

You like hotdogs cos you

like cocks in your mouth.

- You motherf*cker...

- It's Sully from Worcester!

F*ck you, Gus and Brian,

you're supposed to screen this shit.

F*ck this. I'm done.

I've had enough of you

and your police-state censorship.

Okay?

You are the final caller ever

on Hot Ice.

This is Rollie Hortense,

coach of the Orangetown Assassins.

- Yeah? Go f*ck yourself.

- Pattie, do me a favour.

Let me talk to your buddy, Doug.

You impressed the hell out of me

last night and a lot of other people, too.

Thank you. You impress me

a hell of a lot, too.

I'll be direct. I want you to come

to the rink tomorrow for a try-out.

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Jay Baruchel

Jonathan Adam Saunders Baruchel (; born April 9, 1982) is a Canadian actor, and screenwriter. He played Josh Greenberg in the FXX comedy television series Man Seeking Woman and played the lead character in Judd Apatow's comedy series, Undeclared. He is known for his voice role as Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III in the How to Train Your Dragon franchise, and for his roles in comedy movies such as Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder, Fanboys, She's Out of My League, Goon, This Is the End and The Sorcerer's Apprentice. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Goon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/goon_9223>.

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