Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief Page #2

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"i'm in love with this woman.

It's impossible.

"i don't know what to do.

I need some help."

And he said,

"we can help you with that."

I said, "really?"

"yes."

And i ran home and got her,

and i said, "we have to

sign up for this.

"it sounds really good.

It could save

our relationship."

So we both signed up

the next day to do a course,

Which i think cost $50.

The thing that

absolutely got me

And stayed with me forever

Was the very first thing

i read when you open

the course pack,

And it said--

i'm paraphrasing--

"don't believe any of this.

If it works for you, great.

"if it doesn't, discard it."

I was troubled by the fact

that they called it a religion,

But i figured,

"oh, it's some tax scam.

It's fine with me.

"i don't really care about that

as long as it works."

The first exercise,

after you do all this reading

and stuff like that,

Is this thing called

o-t-t-r-0,

Which is basically,

you stand-- you sit

Just like this,

eyes closed,

Three feet away

from somebody who's

doing the same thing,

And you basically

confront them.

You know?

And in scientology lingo,

I went exterior.

Exteriorizing

is what they call it.

You know,

you leave your body.

So it was a... Transcendent

experience for me.,

And that made me go,

"holy f***ing sh*t,

"this is-- wow."

I was reading books,

going to lectures,

and going to things--

Different events

at the mission-- at the local

santa clara mission.

And then i knew

i wanted to join the sea org

And get really involved

as soon as i could,

Which would

be right out of high school.

Sea org

is the most fraternal order

of the organization.

It's people who really,

really believe in the cause

And sign

a billion-year contract,

Which i did when i was--

you know, as soon as i could.

I left skid marks getting

to that billion-year contract.

You thought

you were doing something good,

To have a positive effect

on all of mankind.

That's what howard says.

Everything you do for endless

trillions of years

Depends on what you do

here and now within

scientology.

I began to ask this question,

"what is man?"

and i found, oddly enough,

That nobody could tell me

what man was.

What did he consist of?

Where was he going?

What was he doing?

To really know life,

you've got to be part of life.

You must get down and look.

You must get into

the nooks and crannies

of existence,

The-- you have to rub elbows

With all kinds

and types of men

Before you can finally

establish what he is.

And you in fact did this?

Yes, i've slept

with bandits in mongolia,

And i've hunted

with, uh,

Pygmies in the philippines.

Matter of fact,

i've studied 21 different

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