Gay Page #3

---

Serves you right for shaving

that flesh wound of yours.

Hey, I know that you think

women are dirty down there.

I've met a man.

Ken.

- Who would call himself Ken?

Ken... Sounds nice.

- True. Has he got a big cock?

Is he bisexual?

- He teaches at my school.

And he's not bisexual.

Strange really.

When is he coming for

a meat inspection?

Have you f***ed him?

- What kind of a question is that?

It's a perfectly normal question.

- Well, have you f***ed him or not?

And he can't get enough of it.

Only he keeps wanting to

re-enact sex scenes from films.

Lassie, no doubt.

- That's disgusting.

I'd hang on to Ken, if I were you.

Otherwise, send him over.

We could Nine-and-a-Half-Weeks him.

- Let's hope it works out...

because Snoes and men: -

- Hopeless.

Hey, who's the sexiest man on earth?

- Jude Law, lovely.

Yes, he is gorgeous. What about you?

- Let me think.

John Malkovich.

- Who?

Max, he's really ugly.

- Yes, but then I like ugly men.

I see, thanks. Snoes, do you think

I should have my eyes lifted?

What? Don't be silly. Max, why do

you have such a strange boyfriend?

Sorry, but I need some more booze.

God, what a show stopper.

- He's got a pretty face for head.

He's called Roderick. He gave me his

number, but I had to turn him down.

All the boys just love you, Pascal.

- It's such a hard life.

Tarzan, I'd better leave

you alone for a minute.

I need to shake a big friend's hand.

- With an emphasis on 'big'.

I heard a funny one the other day:

To cry from your wig.

I've got a really good sex tip.

- Tell me.

Get someone to suck you off

with cola in their mouth.

The fizz feels fantastic, apparently.

- Really?

Yes, really.

- Girls, this is Guy from the toilet.

He's from L. A. And here

to photograph the gay scene.

I thought I'd bring him over.

- I should go to the toilet more often.

What do they say about photographers?

- Long lenses. They have long lenses.

Hello there, little one.

Come to Daddy. Come to Daddy.

I bet you were thinking about Guy.

Don't be silly. I was

thinking about you.

Though Guy is rather nice, too.

- There, you see. I knew you liked him.

You have a jealous boyfriend,

but you already know that.

How could I have missed it?

And by the way, if anyone is going

to cheat on anyone, then it's my turn.

OK? So, you'd better

be ready for it.

I'll tell you what, let me

help you.

Max, that's disgusting.

If you really love each other,

then it shouldn't be a problem.

Hey...

dirty old man.

Darling?

- Yes.

Will you really come to Hollywood

and leave everything behind?

You know I will.

- Really?

I'm getting up.

I'm just going to cry from my wig.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes