Found Footage 3D

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1

Derek:
So, what do you think?

Andrew:
It's good, it's a

little cliche, don't you think?

-No, that's not cliche.

That's how every found

footage movie starts.

-I know, that's why

i called it cliche.

Mark:
Yeah, that or a

fake police evidence tag.

-Yeah, and plus, if the

bodies were never recovered

you know, how did they

find the footage?

-Yeah, no, of course, I'm

saying this looks good--

-oh, no this looks great!

Yeah, the text and everything,

it's very impressive.

-Thank you.

-Yeah, no, absolutely, but

again, in this first part,

it doesn't say

anything about why

they were filming

in the first place,

it just says that the

footage was found.

What footage?

-The vacation video footage?

-No, I know that, but the

audience needs to know that.

-Yeah.

-Right.

-No, of course they do.

-Right.

-Right, no, I'm saying, yeah,

we should put that in there.

-I agree, that's a great idea.

-Obviously, but it looks

good and we should add that.

-It looks great, and we

should put that in there.

-There it is then, it's

happening, we're making movies.

This guy right here comin'

up with good ideas,

that's why I hired

him as director.

Let's put it in, rock star.

-Terrific.

-It's not gonna fit dude.

-We got everything?

-This is it man.

-It's everything.

-This'll fit in there.

-Is this the new pa?

Derek:
Yep.

Andrew:
Oh good, he can

give us a hand. We need it.

Derek:
Hey! There she is!

-I'm good, how are you?

- I'm good too.

Lily, I want you to meet Andrew.

This is our director.

Mark:
Hi Andrew, Lily.

This is my brother mark.

-Hey mark.

-Mark, this is

Lily, our new pa.

Mark:
I'd shake

your hand, but--

-you're filming.

Mark:
Yeah.

-It is very

expensive sound gear.

Good stuff, top

shelf stuff here,

probably seen these, you

know, on set, people do that.

This is my boom stick.

Shop smart, shop s-mart.

-Okay, good point, except

that's not gonna be enough.

Hundreds, thousands of

movies get made every year,

never seen the light of day

because they don't have

a huge movie star or

big special effects,

which we don't have

the budget for,

so we have to find a way to

make people pay attention to us.

We need to generate

free publicity.

-Okay.

-But how do you do that?

How do you make free press?

Well, the way I see it,

there are two ways to do it.

One, create controversy, right.

You piss the right people off,

they will write about you.

So, I got to thinking,

you know what,

let's write in like a

pedophile catholic priest,

that'll get the

catholics all riled up.

-Don't do that though.

-I'm not going to.

-Oh my god.

-Because there is another

way to get free press,

and that is to be the

first at something.

-Okay

-sharknado! Yes? Right?

Deadly aquatic life forms,

deadly weather patterns,

first movie to combine them,

total piece of sh*t as a film,

but it sold at afm last

year based on the concept--

-wait, I know, but

again, I feel like

"piece of sh*t" is not

what we're goin' for.

-Of course not, but what if we

make a kick ass scary movie,

and we are also the first

at something noteworthy.

That would be like the

best of both worlds.

Right? Come for the concept,

stay for the great film.

-Okay, so what are we

gonna be the first to do?

-Get ready to have

your minds blown.

Hold onto your knickers, because

as of this morning we are

no longer just shooting

the greatest found footage

horror movie ever made.

We are shooting...

Drum roll.

Drum roll, can i

get a drum roll?

-I don't do sound effects.

He's not gonna stop

until you drum roll.

-Trust me you are going to

want to be doing a drum roll

when you find out.

- Okay, okay. Very

good.

-We are shooting the first ever

found footage horror movie...

In 3D.

-What?

Derek:
We're shooting in 3D.

-We're shooting in 3D?

-We are shooting in 3D.

-How are we shooting in 3D?

-That's what I'm showing you.

Check it out, this is

the camera, look at it.

-No, I'm sorry---

right lens, left lens.

Just like in reality.

-I mean, how does that even

make sense in the story?

Why would your

character film in 3D?

-Why wouldn't he film in 3D?

-Well, because in the

premise of spectre of death--

-spectre of death 3D.

-That's very good, okay,

in the premise of the film,

it's a vacation video.

So, who shoots their

vacation videos in 3D?

-I don't know...

Japanese people?

-He's probably accurate.

-No, okay, whatever, my

character is now a filmmaker.

I'm not a documentarian.

I shoot everything in 3D,

I'm a 3D enthusiast.

-That's not a thing.

-It is now.

-Look at this.

- Ah ,

that's pretty cool.

The monitor's in 3D too,

look at this, mark.

Look, watch.

Mark:
What?

-Do somethin'.

Andrew:
That's terrific.

-Because not only are we

shooting the first ever

found footage

horror movie in 3D.

We are also shooting

the first ever

behind the scenes

documentary... also in 3D.

Andrew:
How much did

you spend on this thing?

-Doesn't matter.

We can return it.

-Do you have enough

batteries for this thing?

Derek:
Dude, quit

pissing in the pool,

and just get into it already.

Look at that, you're hanging

onto a goldmine right there.

Andrew:
It's beautiful,

don't get me wrong.

-This is a very

impressive gimmick.

-I wish you would've told

me about this sooner.

-I wish I had

thought of it sooner.

-I still vote for

the pedophile priest.

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