Ernest Goes to Jail Page #3

- - I thought

I was gonna get promoted

to branch manager

this time last year.

What a laugh, huh?

Y-Yeah, but did you hear the one

about the 3-legged dog

That walked into the saloon and said,

"I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my

'paw"'?

Ah heh heh heh heh.

Ernest, this is fun.

I mean, you're pretty

good company.

I come from a long line

of bon vivants.

We're known for our charm, wit,

and sparkling dinner conversation,

know what I mean?

Ernest?

Ernest, are you all right?

I recommend the lobster.

Ah heh heh. Ah heh heh heh.

Sir.

Man:
There he is.

Hey, warden,

we don't come to your house.

Open C-12.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the infamous

Mr. Nash.

My sources tell me

that you and your guard dog

got in some trouble yesterday

down in the weight room.

Just mindin'

my own business, warden,

somethin' you might want

to try sometime.

Now, you can make things

easy on yourself,

or you can make 'em hard.

Its up to you.

You hear me, Nash?!

Yeah, I hear you, warden.

Now you hear me.

When you step out

of that cozy little office,

you're on my turf.

And if I were you,

I would watch my step.

If thats a threat,

its a weak one.

Your day's comin'

real soon, Nash...

and we both know it.

Man:
Close C-12.

I've got to get out

of this place.

Chuck:

Ernest, you wouldn't believe

the new security system

we have for the van...

maximum protection

and minimum carnage...

And three levels of power!

Ernest, I...

Thanks, Chuck.

Thanks, Bobby.

I'm not finished talkin'

to you about this!

This is really neat!

Here, Rimshot.

Here, boy.

Thats a good boy.

How you been?

Miss your daddy?

Good boy.

Lets see what we got

in the mail.

All right!

Down you go.

Wow!

This is great!

I don't believe it!

Jury duty!

Look, Rimshot!

I've been chosen for jury duty!

This is great!

Chuck!

Bobby!

Chuck! Bobby!

Alley-oop.

Uh-oh.

I hate this minefield.

Its a miracle!

I'm so happy! I'm ecstatic!

Uh, uh, its a dream come true!

Chuck, Bobby, guess what!

Ernest, you're in the line

of fire! Move it!

Go! Pick 'em up, put 'em down!

Go! Go! Go!

I hate this part!

Ow!

I'm the luckiest guy

in the whole world.

They chose me.

Out of hundreds of thousands

of other people,

they chose me for

United States jury duty.

Isn't that great?

Yeah, great.

Bobby, soup's on!

I mean, the

opportunity to decide...

right or wrong, good or evil,

regular or unleaded,

to hold a man's life in the

palm of my hand and decide,

"Should I crush it...

or allow it to go free

like a bird

on the wings of time?"

Burn him.

Ladies and gentlemen

of the jury,

one of the most precious

guarantees in our Constitution

is that of a fair trial.

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