Doors Open Page #3

that collection meant to you.

Well, they are not gonna

get away with it!

I just don't see

what you can do about it.

To be honest,

I have seen this day coming.

It's a little sooner

than I anticipated, but

that doesn't matter. I

have it all planned.

I'm gonna need your help.

Help? With what?

I have chosen one or two pictures

that are close to my heart.

Cadell, Cameron,

nothing too ostentatious.

You know them, Mike. Yeah.

Well, I believe we can remove them

without too much trouble.

Remove? You mean steal? No,

I don't mean steal! I mean liberate.

What, in a heist?

Like the Italian Job? If you like.

Only less Italian. I can't quite

see you in a mini, Robert.

Can you, Mike? Oh, bugger it.

Allan, what hotel

do the bank put people up in?

What?

Which... Oh, never mind. It'll probably

be the Sheraton. Please, Mike, don't...

Hello. Er, can you do me a favour?

Can you see if there's

a Laura Stanton staying here?

(DISTANT LAUGHTER AND CHATTER)

So that's agreed.

You, me and Mike are

going to lubricate..

. We're going to liberate

those paintings, yes?

So... Shh, don't tell anybody.

It's gonna be the crime

of the century. Shh.

We can do it!

Yeah.

Go on, then. Go on.

Ohh! Wonder goal!

Nobody's renting commercial space

just now.

Honestly, if you saw

half the stuff I've got

on my books... Sorry,

what's your name?

Sharon.

Sharon, this is your priority.

I don't wanna hear about other clients.

I promise you, we're doing our best.

Have you seen the new brochures?

Ah. Hey!

We're working here!

Business! Sorry, boss. It's him.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

Clowns! Hello. How are you?

One second. Well, nice to meet you,

Sharon. The boys will show you out.

How you doing, mucker?

Ah, no, I've not been avoiding you.

I've just... See you, darling.

..a wee fiscal situation.

But you know I'm good for the money.

You better had be, Charlie,

or you'll be getting a visitor.

No, there's no need for that.

I'll get you your money.

"Aye. Well, make sure you do."

Pablo Picasso.

Sexual philanderer, certainly,

but more importantly,

towering genius.

This giant of the 20th century

once famously said,

"Bad artists copy.

Great artists steal."

This week, I want you to

steal from a great artist,

and with that theft,

to make a work of your own.

That's it. Go away. Off. Go paint.

Hello. Ah! Come in, come in.

Tell me, what do you see?

A skull. You've shown me it before.

The anamorphosis.

Yeah, I love it.

It's Holbein's little joke.

Memento mori,

a reminder of our own mortality.

Because in the great scale of

things, Mike, life is short.

Will you have a wee sensation?

It's a wee bit early for me.

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