Don't Be a Menace to South Central Page #2

-I guess she could smell sex in the air.

I got a surprise for you.

- And that's when things

really got freaky.

- Come on.

-Before I knew it the door burst open...

-Huh?

and there was her mama!

Ohh! Hold him down, baby.

Let Mama have him.

- I grabbed my things and got out

of there the best way I could.

- [Girl Groans]

Yeah. Hmm. I sure do hope

you got her number.

- The girl?

- Hell, no. Her mama. She the freak.

Hey, hey. Pops, don't go up

too high in the back.

Man, don't worry about this.

We all done. There we go.

- Yeah.

- I got something for you

to make the girls...

think you're smelling good.

- All hooked up, partner. Gimme my $13.

- All right, give it up!

It's a jack move, fool.

- J-J-Just don't shoot.

- Hey, come back here with my truck!

Will you-- Come here!

Son, gimme that truck back!

Man, you got

any spare change?

Sorry, bro.

I'm all out, man.

Man, I got these

cheeseburgers, man.

I don't want any cheeseburgers.

Please, man?

I'll suck your dick.

Ill. Get outta here, man!

Get outta here!

It hurt me to wake up and see

my beautiful black people suffer,

victimized by the oppressive,

harsh realities of the hood.

I guess, even though we were free,

we were still slaves...

in the mind.

Message.

Luckily, I wasn't alone

here in the hood.

See, my cousin Loc Dog

lived right across the street.

Loc Dog was America's

worst nightmare.

- Raised in a house with three

generations of hopelessness,

- poverty and profanity.

- Loc Dog! Turn that loud-ass

muthafuckin' music down!

You wakin' up the f***in'

babies, muthafucka!

This still my muthafuckin' house!

Who the f*** is that

on my porch?

- Hey, Mrs. Dog.

- Hey, Ashtray.

- You come to stay

with your daddy for good?

- Yeah.

Come on in.

You tell your pretty-ass,

muthafuckin' daddy I said hello?

Uh, yeah.

Mmm!

Baby, do me a favor and

pass me that sh*t over there.

Hey!

- Care for a little soup?

- No, thanks. I'm cool.

- Oh. Is Loc Dog here?

- Yeah, that lazy-ass

motherf***er is in the back,

doin' nothin', as usual.

- Okay. Well, I'll see you later.

- All right, babe.

Hey, Grandma.

Ashtray! You little

b*tch-ass muthafucka!

Come over here

and give your grandma a hug.

Ah, that's my nigga.

- You been wearin' them jimmy hats

like Grandma gave you?

- Yes, ma'am.

- How are you?

- Oh, my old stinky ass is fine,

'cept for my arthritis

in my trigger finger.

- But I can still stick and move.

- I bet you can.

That beatin' the police give me

didn't slow me down a bit.

C'mon, muthafucka.

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