Detention

Synopsis: A group of delinquent students give a hung-over substitute teacher a hard time.
Genre: Comedy, Short
Director(s): Claudia Jurt, Peter Jurt
Production: IDP Distribution
 
IMDB:
6.9
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
Year:
2012
20 min
Website
3 Views

I'm Taylor Fisher and I'm a bitch.

Beauty, intelligence, talent,

charisma, Hoobastank.

What? They're good.

Indie rock trends do move fast.

Today, my alarm is set

to the Drunges.

But by the time

you actually watch this...

...they'll be headlining a toilet

in Toledo with mops.

Hey, bitch, that's not cool.

Eat cock!

Hello, Taylor.

It's Don. Don Waters, again.

We made out behind the Pizza Pitt.

You tasted the deep dish.

Not deep enough.

Get out of the bathroom.

You're ruining my life, you

f*cking Ecstasy

- I'm peeing.

- Taylor, hi, Singe Gupta.

I very much liked our calculus date

at Pizza Pitt.

Loser. Your parabolic graph was bent

and I only got a B.

French toast?

Mom, I'm on a no-bread diet.

- Since when?

- Since now!

Oh, I hate you! I hope you die!

Taylor, what we did at Pizza Pitt...

Word of advice,

there's always new toothpaste.

Don't swallow. Spit.

Cinderhella II:
Beauty Scream opened

this week at the Galaxy Pines Mall.

If you're anyone who's anyone

in Grizzly Lake, you'll go see it.

Moscow Hyatt is my idol.

This brings me to something I call:

Taylor Fisher's Guide

to Not Being a Total Reject.

One, go see Cinderhella II

on Friday night, loser.

Taylor, honey, I'm leaving.

Hurry or we'll be late.

Mom, I'm doing something important!

You're a monster!

I'll be in the car.

F*ck a duck!

Let me montage this

to speed things up.

What now?

Love Pizza Pitt.

Who are you?

Your biggest fan.

Rad.

Bitch, going to kill you.

-Okay.

-Okay....

Stalkers are so 2011.

Get out of my room, you paedophile!

Where is she?

The girl gets away with everything.

Life sucks.

Nice. That's just awesome.

I try to remember

I'm only the second-biggest loser...

...to walk Grizzly Lake High.

First place goes to the drunk slut who

screwed the dead mascot in 1992.

But the '90s are history. So am I.

Oh, my God, I love this song.

Shit!

No. "Oh no, no.

Shit.

This is the fifth sighting of

mysterious objects over Grizzly Lake.

Authorities speculate an elaborate

hoax perpetuated by high-school...

Dad, I forgot the bus leaves early

on Wednesdays. Can you drive me?

Sure, hon.

Nope, still drunk.

Yo, Heather Mills.

You're robbing me?

I didn't even know Iceland had crime.

Stop generalising. I stole this shirt.

- And the leather shoes?

- Vegetarian?

"Vegetarianism is the taproot

of humanitarianism." Tolstoy.

Give me your iPod, salad eater.

- It's a f*cking shuffle.

- I make 6.55 an hour.

Yeah. Thanks, anyway.

I'm too old for this shit.

It's not my fault majoring

in Inuit Literature and Hipster Rock...

...doesn't replenish your trust fund.

- I listen to Aerosmith.

- Hey, Clapton.

- Hey, Clapton.

- Hey.

- Go left.

Where is Clapton Davis?

Other way.

Who gave Riley the permission

to have the hots for Clapton?

Did falling off the ugly tree

knock a dream into her head?

Why doom a win like Clapton Davis

to a life of missionary sex?

Nice save, Truman.

Think you can hook me up

with Alexis at prom?

Yeah, no problem!

This bear's been deceased

since the Nixon Administration...

...yet exerts

an extraordinary magnetic field.

Toshiba, you're either the smartest kid

in school or the weirdest.

Mimi, wait. Wait, Mimi. No.

I know it looks like

such a light-hearted...

...feel-good comedy

being an expecting teenage mom.

Let me tell you something. I've been

principal at this school for five years.

Let me tell both of you something.

Pregnant teenagers

are never funny. Ever.

I'm not pregnant.

Cut the carbs.

Attention, Grizzly Lake High.

- Hey, Kayla.

- Hey, Vicky.

Skank ho.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Detention" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 23 Aug. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/detention_6798>.

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