Deep End

Come in.

- Oh, it's you, boy.

- Yes. Your shampoo, madam.

- Would you help me with this?

- Yes, madam.

- The buttons as well.

- Um, yes, madam.

Careful, boy, you're so rough.

Sorry, madam. Um, will that be all?

Uh, no, this is a bloody nuisance

as well.

You might as well undo it

while you're here.

Look, um, I don't know how.

- All right, if you're so useless.

- Thank you, madam.

Wait a minute.

Here, take this and get out.

Oh, no, no, no, really. Thank you.

It's okay, nothing really.

It was nothing.

Who will be the first in?

Shoes off! Everybody!

Come on. Come, come, come,

come, come, come, come.

Having a good time?

Help! Help! I nearly fainted.

I think the water was too hot.

I feel giddy.

Oh, I just... If I could just rest.

Oh! Wait, wait.

It's not as if

something really happened.

I mean, it wouldn't look good, would it?

If you were in here with me.

Just wait a little.

It'll soon pass over.

Are you... Are you keen on football?

All the boys are, aren't they?

One way or another?

It's always tackle, dribble, dribble,

- shoot...

- Yes, but...

Why can't you look into my eyes?

Look, boy. Stop it.

Stop staring at my tits.

What position do you play in, boy?

- Where do you play, hmm?

- Goalkeeper.

Oh, it doesn't matter,

they're all the same now.

They're all playing all over the pitch,

pushing hard and bucking tight.

Screening the ball, tackle, tackle,

dribble, dribble, shoot.

Keep your eyes off, boy.

It isn't decent.

Did you see Georgie Best score

those six goals at Northampton?

Six of them.

The second one,

when he got his head to it,

just a touch and it flew in.

Or that other one, when he...

When he dribbled across the field...

a dummy.

Close. Dribble, dribble...

And shot. No, no, he just...

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