Death to Smoochy Page #4
EXT. CONEY ISLAND BOARDWALK - NATHAN'S HOT DOGS - SHORT
WHILE LATER:
Sheldon and Nora stand at the crowded counter at
Nathan's. Sheldon ravenously eats his sloppily-
garnished, oddly colored hot dog. Nora winces as
she watches him.
(CONTINUED)
10.
CONTINUED:
SHELDON:
(with full mouth)
live to see the day. Organic,
rich in natural protein, and
nobody gets killed. Although I
do feel bad for the beans. Just
kidding. Sure you don't want one?
NORA:
Believe it or not, no.
SHELDON:
So anyway, like I was saying,
people always tell me, 'You gotta
network, Sheldon... you gotta sell
yourself... or you'll be playing
the drug clinics and shopping
centers the rest of your life.'
And you know what I tell 'em?
NORA:
I haven't the foggiest.
SHELDON:
I tell 'em, it's not about the old
handshake and back slap game.
It's not about adding fuel to the
shlock machine. It's about doing
good work. Having integrity.
Making people happy and delivering
a positive message. Foundations
are built with concrete, not
plaster of Paris!
He pulls the stained, misshapen Smoochy head from theshopping bag.
SHELDON:
This is concrete! This is
integrity!
NORA:
(calmly)
I can see that.
Sheldon realizes his voice was getting too loud.
SHELDON:
Sorry. As you can imagine, living
by your convictions can be a
little stressful at times.
(CONTINUED)
11.
CONTINUED:
NORA:
We all have our cross to bear.
SHELDON:
See, I was raised by mygrandfather, and Grandpop paveddriveways for a living...
NORA:
Are we going into a story?
SHELDON:
Thing is, he didn't really pavethem. Just covered them with
black paint. Of course, once the
first rain came along, peoplerealized they'd been swindled. I
vowed to myself back then that I'dnever make a living throughdeception. Never. Whadda yathink of them apples?
Nora looks glassy-eyed. She takes a deep breath.
NORA:
The reason I'm here today, Mr.
Mopes, as fate would have it,
Kidnet is currently looking for aperformer with... convictions.
And integrity. Someone like...
She almost chokes on the word.
NORA:
... yourself.
Sheldon laughs.
SHELDON:
Yeah, right. Got any more jokes?
NORA:
I don't think I could top that
one.
SHELDON:
Hold the phone. You're telling methat Kidnet is finally ready to doa show of Smoochy quality? Of
Smoochy caliber?
(CONTINUED)
12.
CONTINUED:
NORA:
(dryly)
Yes... I believe we're ready to
push ourselves to that level.
SHELDON:
I knew this day would come!
After all these years I finallymeet someone in the business who
gets what I do. Who gets what I'mall about. You get me, don't you,
Nora?
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"Death to Smoochy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/death_to_smoochy_339>.
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