Dear Dracula Page #2

- (RETCHES)

- (LAUGHS)

Eugh! What are you doing

talking to the bug whisperer?

Seriously,

that dude's beyond creepy.

He is not creepy.

He's... different.

Well, maybe you wanna stay here

and hang out with Mr Different,

but we're outta here.

- Come on.

- Webber, no!

- (GROWLS)

- (SCREAMS)

Tarantula!

(BOTH SCREAM)

Not cool, spider dude.

Definitely not cool!

(CHITTERS)

(LAUGHS) That was awesome,

little guy.

She totally deserved it.

(LAUGHS)

Listen, tell Sam he should come

to my party, OK?

- (CHITTERS)

- OK.

See you.

Webber, that was bad.

Very funny. Uh, but bad.

Well, maybe 'bad' is

the wrong word.

No, I am not going.

- Sam.

- Coming.

So will you work on the web?

Remember, cool and scary.

Oh, and happy Halloween, Webber.

Hey, Grams.

Stop it.

Not on my watch, mister.

Was that Emma I saw you

talking to out there?

Yeah.

- So, are you going?

- Going where?

Are you going to Emma's

Halloween party tonight?

Were you eavesdropping, Grams?

No, dear. I would never

eavesdrop on purpose.

I prefer to think of it

as overhearing.

And I think I overheard Emma

invite you to her party.

- So are you going?

- Uh-uh.

Oh, good, because there's

no way I could sit through

the monster movie marathon

on my own.

It's our Halloween tradition.

(SIGHS) I know, Grams. I know.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(PLONK!)

DRACULA:

Mirroe, are we there yet?

Not yet, Master.

(GRUNTS)

(MIRROE GROANS)

(GRUNTS AND COUGHS)

(RETCHES AND COUGHS)

DRACULA:
Are we there yet?

Master, we're finally there.

I...I mean here.

DRACULA:
Excellent!

Now, then, take me up

to the front door

so I can make a grand entrance.

(GRUNTS AND STRAINS)

Yes, Master.

(GRUNTS REPEATEDLY)

And, Mirroe, make sure

the sunlight won't be on me -

it won't be much of an entrance

if I turn to dust

the second the coffin opens,

now, would it?

No, Master.

- (DOORBELL RINGS)

- (SWITCHES ON TV)

Oh, trick-or-treaters.

My, my, they start earlier

each year.

Oh, my!

(WOOD CREAKS)

Good evening, madam.

Aren't you a little old

to be trick-or-treating?

(LAUGHS) Charming.

But I am not

a trick-or-treater.

What are you selling, then?

Madam, I've travelled

a very long way.

Is this the house of Sam?

Who wants to know exactly?

- I am Count Dracula.

- (SPOOKY ORGAN MUSIC)

Well, whatever you're selling,

I'm not buying.

- Whoa!

- Ohh!

Way to dodge the vase, Master.

Ohh!

- Calm down, Granny. Calm down.

- (GRUNTS)

This is not going well.

Tell me about it, Master.

- (BOTH GRUNT)

- Ah!

Get off my property,

you hoodlums.

- No!

- Oh, Master, no. No.

We must get you

out of the sunlight.

(SIZZLING SOUND)

(GRUNTS) You leave me

no choice, Granny.

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