Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth Page #3

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''to suck my dick...

''without peeling it?

''Last night, Chimp-chimp | jerked me off with his feet.

''N*gger, only a monkey can show you | that kind of love and tenderness.

''So you all keep f***ing these people | if you want, n*ggers.

''No, it's monkey p*ssy for me.

''I'm hooking up with an orangutan | next week.

'''Cause all I f*** | is chimps and orangutans.''

You know who I feel real bad for is Indians.

Everybody feels bad for the Indians.

They get dogged openly, | 'cause everybody thinks they're dead.

These motherfuckers | are not all dead, all right?

I've seen, with my own eyes, | I've seen a gathering...

of 1,500 Native Americans.

They were all gathered in one place. | The place is called Wal-Mart in New Mexico.

They were everywhere. | I've never seen Indians before.

I wasn't even sure if they were Indians.

It was f***ed up, but I asked one of them.

It's not nice, | but I seen them in the sports section...

looking at bows and arrows. | I had to say something. ''Excuse me...

''I don't mean to be rude...

''are you an Indian?''

And he was cool. ''Yes.

''Yes, I am Indian.''

I still didn't believe him.

I had to test him and be sure.

This is f***ed up, | but I had a gum wrapper in my pocket.

So, I balled that sh*t up | and I threw it on the floor.

And a single tear came out his eye. | I said, ''Oh, sh*t.''

I have so many questions.

I said, ''What tribe are you from?''

''I am a Navajo.''

I said, ''Word?

''I studied you in Social Studies.

''You're a hunter-gatherer, correct?''

He said, ''I guess so...

''if that's what you wish to call it.''

I said, ''Why, what do you call it?''

He said, ''I am...

''an alcoholic.''

I said, ''Well, what's your name, dog?''

He said, ''please. Dog is my cousin. | That was a good guess.

''My name is...

''Running Coyote.

''What is your name, friend?''

And that sh*t caught me off guard. | I didn't wanna say my name was Dave...

to a motherf***er named Running Coyote. | It don't feel good enough.

He's putting me on the spot.

I said, ''My name? What?

''Oh, my name's Black Feet.''

I changed the subject. ''Forget about me. | What's going on with you?

''I wanna meet your chief.

''Why don't me, you, your Chief, | and your friends get together tonight?

''We could have | a real-life peace pipe-smoking ritual.

''We need to celebrate | 'cause I thought you were dead.''

And he set it up. It was beautiful. | It was just like I dreamed.

We was all sitting around. | The Indians was beating the drums.

Other Indians came out the back...

with a long blanket that was folded in half | and put in front of us.

Opened that sh*t up...

and on the blanket | was a long wooden pipe with feathers.

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