Dark Woods

Are you there?

Good.

All we wanted was a decent job.

And we ended up here.

In the woods.

We should have stayed away

from that pond.

Hi.

Can I smoke here?

Why did you apply for this job,

Lasse?

I know you're good.

And that you pay well.

I hear you're one of the best

photographers around.

Who told you that?

-Are you Lasse's friend?

-Yes.

-What do you do on local radio?

-Haven't you heard my reports?

Jesus Christ! I've been

in princess Mrtha Louise's bed.

I've been in Wenche Foss' shower.

Do you have any TV experience?

I've watched a lot of TV.

Three years as a reporter

for a ... news desk.

''I'll do what you want me to,

cause I ...''

Stop it!

Why do we have to go through this?

Sit down.

Give me that!

You can't do this without me.

Am I right?

Answer me.

Lasse.

Sara.

Elin.

And Per.

My philosophy is:

We have to be able to take -

- everything our participants

have to take.

And preferably even more.

We have four days

to become a top-notch TV crew.

We have to dare

leave our pacifiers behind.

The program is as follows:

Tomorrow and the day after

will be physically demanding.

Saturday will be

mentally demanding.

Not my cell phone!

And Sunday

I have a surprise for you.

When we return to civilization

as one hell of a crew!

Are you ready?

-Yes.

-I can't hear you.

-Yes!

-Good!

Gunnar,

can I make one last phone call?

We'll be back on Sunday.

I usually ...

I call my mom every day,

and I wanted to let her know ...

Consider it part of

the survival experience.

Hang on, Lasse!

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Are we almost there?

-About halfway.

-Did you hear that, Lasse? Halfway.

Is this your cabin?

It started as an ammo shed

dad found after the war.

But it's seen some improve-

ments since then.

Everything OK?

Must have forgotten to lock

after last time.

Fine, I'll take the bottom bunk.

That hasn't worked for 30 years.

This is a classic Stellaphone.

You carried the wine, Lasse.

What wine?

We live in an obscure age.

People choose entertainment

when they really long for clarity.

Something to tell them

how to cope with life.

We supply that clarity.

Rougher, more audacious,

deeper TV than ever before.

We could have sat

at some bar right now.

I was just thinking the same thing!

But instead we are here.

We are going to freeze, starve,

and become clear to each other.

Cheers.

And welcome.

Aren't you drinking?

People who don't drink

have some serious flaw.

Push those two at the same time.

''I can crack big nuts

with my butt muscles.''

''Where did that avocado

come from?''

Where did that avocado come from?

What is it, Gunnar?

I saw ... forest.

I told you:

Never go up to that pond.

What is it, Gunnar?

I saw ... forest.

I told you:

Never go up to that pond.

Never go up to that pond.

Bedtime.

Come back here, dammit!

Cowardly f***!

Where's breakfast?

-Don't we get any food up here?

-You'll find it in the forest.

Let's go.

What kind of a deal is this?

You go up to the river

behind the cabin.

I'll bring the girls, and we'll see

who comes home with dinner first.

Rivers make noise.

I don't hear a river.

Are you all right?

I think so.

Look at this!

Look at that.

Fish are fish, meat is food.

Leave it!

Sh*t!

You can't exactly

call that Swedish chick ugly.

-Isn't she a little old?

-She isn't old!

There's something about Swedes ...

Hello?

The expiration date

was over a month ago.

On your birthday!

-I hope it's alive.

-Why did you shoot?

I don't know.

A reflex.

Did you find it?

If you're going to shoot,

shoot to kill.

There's blood on your hand.

You wanna play with me?

Come on, Lasse!

-Check this out.

-You look lovely.

This doesn't work.

I'll fix it later.

Where did you get that?

We got it

from some helpful German tourists.

We found it in a tent by the pond.

Put it back.

-What's the matter?

-You stole someone else's food.

That tent has been deserted

for over a month.

We are supposed to behave

like adults. You've already failed.

A German plane crashed here

during the war.

Grandpa said

this pond never froze in the winter.

And we were never

allowed to swim here.

Lasse?

Now what?

Let me see.

Holy sh*t ...

We have to get back to the car

before dark.

Another day or two

makes no difference to her.

What?

We have to report this.

We'll wait

until we head down on Sunday.

-Sunday?

-Stop kidding.

Four days

makes no difference to her.

-What about her family?

-She'll be just as dead on Sunday.

-Have you completely lost focus?

-Let me handle this. Please.

Sunday is a good day.

Church is open ...

If you find a body,

you contact the police. Period.

What's going on in your head?

We can't leave her another four days.

-Calm down, Lasse.

-Shut up!

We'll report it when we get home.

On Sunday.

I'm leaving.

Home is the other direction, Lasse.

Get a grip, Lasse.

This stays between us.

There's no point

in frightening the girls.

I've never seen a dead body before.

Have you?

Wait!

Where's Lasse?

Hello?

Didn't Lasse go with you?

Yes.

But he needed some more fresh air.

Will you come with me

to the outhouse, Elin?

-Please?

-Are you scared?

-Come inside with me.

-Want me to wipe you too?

-I'll wait till we get home.

-Sit down and close your eyes.

-What does this have to do with TV?

-Don't ask me.

Lasse?

Hello?

Elin?

That wasn't funny, Lasse.

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