Crazy Kind of Love Page #2

with a bang, don't they?

Yes, they do.

Hey! It was so nice

meeting you.

I'm late for work.

I'll see you later, okay?

- See ya!

- Bye!

- Did you sleep out here?

- You were...

So I just...

You don't need to sleep

on the porch

just because I have

a girl in the house.

She left her gum in the kitchen.

So are you the gum police?

It's unsanitary.

Motherf***er.

Are you spying on us? What did

you think you were going to see?

- I just wanted to see...

- Why don't you go inside...

and see what your screwing

around has done to her?

I don't want...

Go f***ing look at her.

Well, that was productive.

Shut up.

Do you want him to come back

or do you want him to stay away?

I want him to go f*** himself.

I'm going to the store later

if you need anything.

Quinoa, kelp, spelt.

- Oh, no. Mom...

- I'm not dead.

I'm just re-evaluating.

Hey, Harvard! What!

I almost didn't recognize you

without your little PJs on.

Did Henry tell you

that I work here?

No, actually... No, he did not.

Let's see what you got here.

Millet, vitamin C, shampoo.

Let's see.

Greasy hair or dry hair?

- Dry.

- Right.

Yes. Try this.

It's got rattlesnake jizz

or something in it.

I don't know.

It's supposed to work miracles.

- I'm going to pay now.

- Hold on.

- You only got half your stuff.

- That's fine...

Soy milk is over there.

- I'll grab your colon cleanse.

- That's not for me.

Don't worry, I'm an expert.

Too much cascara sagrada

and you will not be able

to leave the house.

You could, but

it wouldn't be pretty.

And you don't strike me as the

type who likes to poop in public.

All right.

I got your colon cleanse.

Let's ring you up, buttercup.

Awesome!

Let me know how it all goes.

With your colon and all.

Miss me?

You have no idea.

I think someone still owes me

a couple of orgasms.

I think that I like you a lot,

Bette Mack

I think you do, too

What would you like to do

with your life, Henry Iris?

That's a good question, Bette.

I think I would like to do this.

And that. Lots and lots of that.

Seriously.

What would I like to do

with the rest of my life?

I don't know. What would you like

to do with the rest of your life?

Well, I'd like to save

the whales, cure cancer...

and make lots and lots

of waffles.

I'm not sure what

I'm supposed to do yet.

I think I'd like

to figure it out with you.

Wow. I didn't know

anyone was down here.

- Who are you?

- I'm Henry's new girlfriend.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

My mom tells me that

I scare her all the time.

Because I don't make any noise

when I move.

Maybe I should wear some bells.

I'm Bette, by the way. I'm

guessing you're Henry's mom.

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