Colour of Magic, The Page #2

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You might like

to keep that to ourselves.

Hmm?

On the house.

- Who is he?

- He says he's a tourist.

Ah.

What's that mean, then?

I think it means "idiot. "

Hmm.

Yes.

You are correct in your surmise.

This is, technically, false coinage.

I knew it. Oh, I knew it.

I got a nose for a dud.

What do you mean, "technically"?

Well, you see, our Ankh Morpork coins

contain rather less gold

than a pint of sea water.

I knew it!

But this, my friend, is solid gold.

What? What?

I've gotta get back.

And so, the leaders

of a number of the many gangs, guilds

and collections of other nefarious dirt bags

of Ankh Morpork

were aware that someone

had arrived in the city

who appeared to have much treasure.

Hmm.

Including Ymor, its greatest thief.

So! No guards?

No, why?

What do I have that's worth stealing?

Well, the trunk. I mean, there can't be

more than two very small wands

made of sapient pearwood

in all the cities of the Circle Sea,

let alone a whole box.

That, and the gold.

Barely 2,000 rhinu.

Is a rhinu one of those big gold coins?

Yes.

Do you think

I paid the innkeeper too much?

I think he might have settled for less.

Well, I can see I've got a lot to learn.

- Hmm.

- Hmm.

An idea occurs to me.

Rincewind, would you perhaps consent

to be employed as a, um...

Well, perhaps the word "guide"

would fit the circumstances.

I think I could afford to pay you...

A rhinu a day?

Oh dear, I've offended you.

It was an impertinent request.

Doubtless you have works of high magic

to return to.

One of those a day?

Oh. Well... Two, then?

- What do you want to see?

- I want to see everything.

I mean, genuine Morporkean life.

You know, I want to go to the slave

markets and the whore pits,

the Temple of Small Gods,

the Beggars' Guild,

and a genuine tavern brawl.

Ah! Well...

Oh, no, no, no,

I'm not suggesting we get involved.

- I just wanna see it, that's all.

- Ah.

And some of your famous heroes,

like Cohen the Barbarian.

- Uh...

- You do know him?

Oh, yes! Yes, of course! Yeah!

Good.

So, it's agreed?

- Agreed?

- Excellent!

Be a good chap, would you,

and see to it that the innkeeper

shows my luggage to the room.

And I insist that you take

your first four days' wages

in advance.

Broadman? Luggage, room!

And perhaps

when the exams are finished...

Come on, then!

- ... we could get a peek at the, uh,

Unseen University?

This calls for a picture.

RINCEWIND:
All the best wizards have left!

See you, loser!

Relax, Withel. The magic chest

will come back for its owner,

and with it, the gold.

Yes. Yes, yes, we'll just have a peek.

Just look over here, Rincewind, and smile.

Rincewind?

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