Coffin Rock Page #2

Come on.

- I'm sure it's not.

I'm going home.

- Great.

She thinks

I'm some sort of weirdo.

Bye, Evan.

- Look at you, eh?

Hey.

You hungry?

Come on, swallow.

Hey.

Oh, look at that.

Look at that.

- A what?

- A bird's nest.

I think he's a weirdo.

- Good-looking weirdo?

- Yeah.

Young.

- Young?

Well, why don't we adopt him?

Yeah, we don't have

to have a kid.

We can just have him.

- I think the letter's going

to come tomorrow.

- There're a lot of tests.

I think it's going to be weeks.

- It's pretty awful, isn't it,

jerking off into a cup

and sucking out eggs,

squeezing it all back in again?

It's not normal, really.

Not natural.

- Mm.

- But is it worth it?

- Mm.

- I mean,

we've got to try at least.

Rob?

- Rob?

. Yep...

Just seems wrong.

- Wrong?

Rob-

- Don't worry.

The tests are going to come back

jet-powered.

Super sperm.

Super swimmers.

- Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

Negative, negative, negative.

Oh!

Negative.

Jet-powered.

- Night, babe.

- Night, Rob.

Any mail?

- No.

- Nothing?

- Nope.

- Do you want me to open it?

- No.

- Ooh, come on, big man.

Let's see what you're made of.

Babe, whatever it says,

it's okay.

- Then we don't need to open it,

do we?

- I know it's scary, babe.

- It's not scary.

It's ridiculous is what it is.

It's stupid.

- But we've got a problem,

and this is a way to fix it.

- I don't need fixing!

- No, we, d*ckhead.

We need fixing.

- That's not what you meant.

It's not what you meant!

- No, you can tell what I meant

by the words that I said.

- That's right.

And any kid'll do.

You just cook one up

in your lab

or order one from our catalog,

maybe go exotic with Korean

or Sudanese

or just grab one off the street,

you f***ing head case!

- Liar!

- Oh, what would you call it,

snatching a kiddie

from its mother!

- You said you wanted this!

- I do!

- Oh, bullshit!

Keep your f***ing letter!

- Of course he does.

- No, no.

All mouth, no trousers.

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I love this song.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

- Yeah, f*** it!

II'

- Costello me J'

I Why'd you have to haunt

my dreams I

I So clearly I

- I I said I don't I

I Want you coin'

round here no more I

I Please, trickster I

I No need to settle I

I We'll call it a drawl

II'

II'

- Of course, there's nothing

wrong with your pipes.

- Medically certified

and fully operational.

Standing by.

Here's a perfectly healthy

35-year-old

with the perfect man,

except for the fact

that out of a 100 billion,

he hasn't got

a single f***ing boy

that can swim straight.

- Oh, you don't actually know

that.

- No?

15 months of synchronized sex,

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