Bulletproof Monk Page #2

It's okay.

An offer of good faith.

What do you think I am, Kar,

a bloody tourist?

You come down here and try and palm

that made-in-a-Bangkok-sweatshop

piece of sh*t off on me?

You got big orchestras, mate.

Too bad I have to cut them off.

I have no idea what you just said.

Your balls.

He's gonna cut off your balls.

Cut him, Diesel.

He's mine.

Come on, shorty!

You done messed up, bro.

You're in for a treat now, boy.

You know what it's all about.

Jesus!

(TALL CANS IN THE AIR PLAYING)

What the hell are you looking at?

You're just so damn beautiful,

especially when you're angry.

That's my bird.

MASTER MONK:
He will defeat

an army of enemies

while a flock of cranes circles above.

Impossible.

Besides,

he's going to lose.

Get up, boss, get up!

Come on, man!

Come on, Mr. F, take him!

Get it?

Got him.

Yeah, where you going now, baby?

He's kind of nice.

Yeah, work it.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Sh*t.

You're over!

Got no fancy sh*t now, huh?

It is over.

Hey, come on.

I'm bored with beating on this loser.

Besides, fighting always gets me hot.

Lucky for you,

this little bit of crumpet's come begging

for some of my funktastic love.

Me or my people ever see you boosting

in our territory again, mate,

I'm gonna snip your Hampton clean off,

mince it up and serve it as a shish kebab.

Now piss off.

(SIREN WAILING)

Congratulations on your victory.

Though, technically,

you were saved by a girl.

It was your charm

that convinced the girl to lead them away.

Hey, Mr. Do-gooder, if you were watching

the whole thing back there,

how come you didn't help me out?

Because you stole from me.

Oh, yeah. That.

But your fighting is very impressive.

Where do you study?

Golden Palace.

Golden Palace?

You studied with the venerable

fighting monks of Jinn Gong?

Whatever, man.

Look, it's been really great spending

more quality time with you and all that,

but I gotta run, okay?

Sorry about stealing

your whatever the hell that is.

Good luck with that enlightenment stuff.

The most undisciplined youth

I have ever laid eyes on.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Not so fast.

Not so fast?

I've been trying to get down with you

for a bloody long right time,

and every time

we're about to go all the way

you up and run out on me.

Nobody knows where you go,

what you do.

No one knows anything about you.

You know I'm worth waiting for.

Sorry, baby. You're on my list,

but you're not at the top.

What?

Piss off, you little tart.

I'm finished with you.

Hey, girl. Where's your necklace?

Oh, sh*t.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

Hey, sh*t! Come on! Let's go!

Relax, folks. Enjoy the intermission.

We have warm soda, stale popcorn,

and dried seaweed snacks

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