Brave New Jersey Page #2

---

I wanted to talk about my brother Joe's passing.

Ah, um, have you learned anything

from this time of trial, Stan?

Oh, you bet.

When a cow kicks you in the leg,

it don't feel like much.

But if she nails you just right in the head,

boy, you're done for.

Very spiritual.

No, tell him about the passage you found.

Oh, yeah, "They are plans for peace and not disaster,

To give you a future and a hope."

Exodus chapter eight.

That's one of my favorites.

No, it's from Jeremiah, Chapter 29?

Oh! I always get those two confused.

Well, I'll keep your brother,

Jonathan, in my prayers.

-My brother was joe.

-I'll pray for them both.

Come on!

We're sitting ducks out here.

-Think he saw us?

-Don't move! stay down!

Hi, Peter.

How you doing

fine.

Hey, lovebirds, shut the hell up.

Do you want him to hear us?

Look, my folks said that when Collins

came back from the war.

He was all messed up.

Maybe he blew away a thousand krauts,

blasting their brains out.

Who knows what he does in there all day?

Here, throw it.

Why is it warm?

Is this pee?

Eew, gross.

Is it true that Ziggy's an imbecile in the head

-'Cause he never talks?

-You're an imbecile.

He's Polish.

Our family sent him here 'cause of Hitler.

-Ever listen to the radio?

-Okay, here we go.

If he comes out, don't look him in the eyes.

Just keep moving.

-Ah!

-Ew!

These last few years haven't been easy,

but today we look ahead at brighter days to come...

ladies and gentlemen,

I'm proud to present

The rotolactor.

And then I'll say something like...

This is a modern marvel.

How it can milk 15 cows at once.

Oh, and Clark, this is where

you're gonna lead the cows in.

Mm, yeah, okay.

Then I'm gonna tug on the heartstrings

a little bit.

Our fields are drying up.

You're working your fingers to the bone,

barely getting by.

Events in Europe are drawing us ever closer

to an inevitable world war.

I say change only comes

when you take bold leaps forward.

Well, that's it.

Now what do you say we fire this up?

Absolutely.

-And all these buttons--

-Yeah?

Designed and built in florida.

I think it's the future in dairy farming.

The fut--

...and when the time is...

Oh, my god!

-Has it got rotors on it?

-Yeah, get over here!

-Dump it right on there?

-Yeah, get out of the way!

I cannot believe it.

This is a disaster.

Oh, god, ah!

Oh, Chardy!

You're damn right I'm upset.

The whole town was due to arrive.

I had to cancel the whole damn ceremony!

No, I couldn't even start the thing.

There was going to be

a fireworks show, for god's sake!

What do you think?

Oh, look at those Halloween costumes!

They fit perfectly!

-Kind of itchy.

-Oh, you're gonna look great tomorrow.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes