Big Fat Liar Page #2

[ Scoffs ] I'm in town|shooting my new picture.

Oh, yeah, you're that guy.

Dude, no offense, but you have made|some stinkers in the last few years.

- Yeah, well, everyone|has a dry spell, Ebert.|- It's Jason.

Trust me. All it takes is one hit|to get you back on top.

Yeah, that's what I'm counting on|with this story I'm handing in.

Oh, really?. Why don'tyou|tell me more about that?.

I tried to get out of it,|but my teacher busted me.

What'd you go with,|dog ate your homework?.

- No. Dad choked on a meatball.|- And you spent all night with him in the E.R.?

Yeah.

Your teacher called the old man to confirm,|you imitated his voice on the cell phone?.

Yeah, pretty much.

All right, listen and learn, short stack.|Here's where you went wrong.

You should've forged the doctor's note,|made your dad your sister...

and changed the meatball|into a chicken wing.

It's much easier to swallow|if you G.M.D...which means "Get my drift."

Wow. You're good.

No, no, no. I'm the best.

- Here we are.|- All right, God bless you,Jared.

- It's Jason.|- And it always will be.

Keep practicing those lies,Jiminy.

'Cause you can take it from me.|The truth?. It's overrated.

Now get out!

I got a movie to produce!

Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.

Ciao.

Hey-o! You left--

- Back to the set, sir?.|- Yeah. Double-time it, driver.

Listen, Whitaker,|I'm noty our sister, I'm not your girlfriend,

and I'm not your priest.|[ Clucking]

So if you wanna remain my partner,|I've got two words for you.

Shut the heck up!|You talkway too much!

Can we cut?. Can we--|[ Coughing ]

'Cause this ain't working|for me at all.

What do you think you're doing?.|Fumigating me in here?.

Move!|Moving.

Why did you call cut?. I did not|tell you to stop acting, Urkel.

Wolf, how many times|have I told you not to call me Urkel?.

My name is Jaleel White, okay?.

Urkel was a character|I played when I was a child.

Okay,Jaleel.|Hey, what's the problem?.

Wanna know the problem?.|Yeah.

I'm getting nothing|from the chicken,|that's the problem.

He sits there with his head slumped over.|I have no idea what my motivation is.

Mmm. Okay, you're|a police officer named Fowl.

Your new partner is a crime-fighting|chicken named Whitaker.

And your motivation is a nice|fat paycheck that's keeping you out...

of working the drive-through window at McDonald's.|Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Watch yourself, Wolf.|Watch yourself.

No, you watch yourself, pal.

You're just lucky I'm not making you|wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.

I swear. I was riding down the street|on Jamie's old bike and some limo hit me.

They offered me a ride.|I spilled all my stuff. I must've forgotten the paper.

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