Benji Page #2

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What about her?

She's gonna freak out.

You asked for a bulldog for Christmas,

and you got a stuffed animal.

Which is why we're not gonna tell her.

He's just gonna stay in our room for now.

Where's he gonna pee and poo?

In your bed? Carter!

Just until I can convince her.

It's Mom. We'll never convince her.

Like, ever.

Oh, crap.

Oh, no.

Hey, hey!

Where are my two favorite people

that help Mom out?

Hey, Mom.

Hi, Mommy!

You're the best mommy of all the mommies

in all the world!

Definitely, you're the best.

Aw...

What'd you break?

Nothing.

So there were

four accidents today. Four!

I was driving the ambulance

80 miles per hour.

That's a lot, Mom.

Forks on the left, hon.

It will be.

Here you go, Madame. Mushrooms on top. How about you,

Mr. Man. Anything exciting happen at school today?

PigFace happened.

Your death is about to happen.

Again? That's the third time.

Okay, that's it. I'm calling the school.

Don't blow this up

like you blow everything up.

I'm not blowing anything up.

I wanna know who this kid is.

I told you, PigFace.

Tell me the truth.

Carter, just

You don't wanna know the truth.

No.

Straight up, Carter.

No.

'Cause if you are,

that's nothing...

Go.

To be ashamed of.

Just let me help you.

No. No.

Here you go. No mushrooms.

Um, actually,

can I have mushrooms, please?

You hate mushrooms.

But taste buds change every seven years.

That's a scientific fact.

He's right. Very, very right.

Mushrooms.

Okay.

I'm just worried about you, Carter.

You're worried about everything.

That is not true.

Okay, maybe that is a little bit true.

A little bit.

Anyway, here you go.

What is going on with you guys?

Nothing.

Nothing.

I feel like you're hiding

something from me.

Okay. Mom, let's just calm down

and eat our food.

Okay, I...

I know that things have been hard,

and you guys wake up in the morning

and I'm already at work,

and you've been on your own a lot lately.

But I just want you to know

that you can talk to me, you know?

Really, I'm right here.

We do talk to you, Mom.

Don't worry.

We love you, Mom, to the moon and back.

To the moon and back.

This is the Aitken Basin,

formed 4.5 billion years ago,

which in dog years is a lot.

My dad showed it to me

on an electron telescope

at the planetarium he ran.

Wanna know something more interesting?

This is my favorite ballerina book.

Isn't she pretty?

Hey, stop chewing on that.

And this is the Nutcracker.

It's about an evil rat king.

Die, Rat King, die.

Shh.

Mom will hear you.

Hey, what if we named him Michael Jordan?

That's the dumbest name

for a dog I've ever heard.

Okay. What about Copernicus?

What is going on in your mind? No.

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