Bean Page #2

A glimmer of hope.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. PORTRAIT SECTION - DAY

BEAN wanders past three or four portraits and mimics the characters in

them. He passes a guard.

GUARD:

(not looking up from his book)

Morning, Bean.

The GUARD sighs with boredom. He gets this from BEAN every day. As

Bean moves on, he treads on the heel of a tourist's shoe. It comes

off- BEAN moves on blithely.

CUT TO:

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. CARTOON ROOM ENTRANCE - DAY

BEAN is passing the very special room where Leonardo Da Vinci's

cartoon, 'The Virgin and Child', hangs, preserved by a very dim

artificial light. There are silhouettes of a few tourists in the room

reverently studying the work, listening to a female GALLERY GUIDE.

BEAN dips into his pocket for his identity badge and in so doing brings

out a coin. The coin drops and rolls into the special room. BEAN

follows it into the darkness.

GALLERY GUIDE:

(hushed)

... by Leonardo Da Vinci. As you can see, the special light in here

goes some way to protect the drawing from photodisintegration caused by

gamma ...

The camera stays outside the room with the picture in view. We hear

the squeak of a tiny door open, then a click. The room is suddenly

flooded in blazing white light. The onlookers gasp in horror.

5

BEAN re-emerges from the room with his precious coin. As an

afterthought he pops his hand round the doorway and turns off the

light. He scuttles away. The GALLERY GUIDE shakes her head in total

exasperation.

CUT TO:

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. BOARDROOM - DAY

GARETH:

Maybe it would be simpler to pack all our paintings onto trucks and

move the entire National Gallery somewhere else. And not tell him.

HUBERT:

Seconded. We could all move to France.

GEORGE:

All those in favour.

They all raise their hands wildly.

LORD WALTON:

Come on - settle down everyone.

CUT TO:

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. ELEVATOR - DAY

BEAN stands in the elevator silently with four other people. He gives

himself a long squirt of breathfreshener. Then offers it to the

others, who politely refuse him. So he stands still again. Pause.

BEAN then smells something unpleasant. He leans and has a little sniff

of the person to his left. All right there. Then he sniffs to his

right, and reels at what he smells. He again takes out the breath

freshener, and forces it upon VINCENT, an elderly gentleman, who is

mortified.

At this moment the elevator stops - BEAN and VINCENT get out and the

camera follows VINCENT as he heads for the boardroom door and enters.

He is another trustee. This dialogue is heard from behind the closed

door.

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