Battle of the Sexes Page #2

GAMBLERS ANON LEADER

Would anybody else like to speak?

Sir?

He’s looking at Bobby. Bobby points at himself. Really? Me?

He stands up. Sighs. Here we go.

BATTLE OF THE SEXES -Simon Work File -4/7/16

BOBBY RIGGS:

My name is Bobby and I am an

addict.

ADDICTS:

Hi, Bobby.

BOBBY RIGGS:

At least that’s what Priscilla

says. My wife. Lovely lady.

His face briefly shines and then he remembers.

BOBBY RIGGS (CONT’D)

She’s gonna leave me unless I quit

gambling.

A couple of ‘we hear you, Bobby’s from the room.

BOBBY RIGGS (CONT’D)

Puzzles me, this word: gambling.

Every time she gets the car out the

garage Priscilla’s gambling big

time. Never checks the mirror,

sticks it in reverse, puts her foot

down, straight out onto the

highway. Jeez Louise, that’s

gambling. But here I am. Gamblers

Anonymous.

GAMBLERS ANON LEADER

And what’s your point, Bobby

BOBBY RIGGS:

My point? Everybody gambles all the

time. Life’s a gamble, right?

That’s the thrill of it: this way

or that way, the yes or the no, the

heads or the tails of being alive!

Yet here I am and here you are,

heads bowed, ashamed of ourselves.

But that ain’t right. You fellas

aren’t here cos you’re gamblers-

we’re all gamblers. You’re here cos

you’re terrible gamblers. That’s

what the problem is. You lose,

right? And you end up here.

More ashamed nods from the Gamblers.

BOBBY RIGGS (CONT’D)

I get it. But there’s one thing

worse than losing, friends: it’s

not being in the game. If you’re

not in game, what’s the point?

(MORE)

BATTLE OF THE SEXES -Simon Work File -4/7/16 6-7

BOBBY RIGGS (CONT’D)

We’re dead men walking, right? I

mean, look at us!

BOBBY RIGGS (CONT’D)

We’re dead men walking, right? I

mean, look at us!

This is taking a surprising turn. Even Bobby is cheering up.

BOBBY RIGGS (CONT’D)

Heads up, fellas, we can turn this

around, we can get back in the

game, we will get back in the

game...

Everyone’s listening now. This isn’t the inspirational speechthey were expecting, but they like it.

GAMBLERS ANON LEADER

I’m not sure that-

BOBBY RIGGS:

I play a bit of cards, but sports

is my bag:
tennis, golf, shooting

hoops, whatever it is, there’s a

bet to made. And if there isn’t I

don’t get out of bed. I hear you

guys yammering on, and I realized.

I see the problem. What you gotta

do is get yourselves a thing.

GAMBLER:

A thing?

BOBBY RIGGS:

Yeah, a thing! An edge, an angle,

the inside track, the sniff in the

wind, the thing that turns you from

a gambler to a hustler, from a

loser to a winner. A thing!

GAMBLERS ANON LEADER

This is not what we should be

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