Band of Robbers Page #2

is going really well.

This is my newest model,

and I thought you might like it.

"My other car is Jesus."

"My other car is Jesus."

You should make another one that says

"My other car is fishing."

Fishing is super-popular.

We weren't supposed to bring gifts...

And I got him pie earlier, so...

We're all glad to have Huck back, right?

That's why we're here.

To believe in that,

to celebrate that.

This is a party, okay?

Welcome back, Huck, right?

This is for you, man.

Whoo! Huck!

And it's a meeting.

So let's start the meeting.

I know what you guys

are thinking.

Huck's been in jail. I don't wanna have

anything to do with that stuff. Neither do I.

But I don't think Huck's done anything

wrong. And that's coming from a cop.

You know what other cops do? They write

tickets to your own grandmothers.

They let real criminals get

away with whatever they want.

They make the wrong people

into detectives.

You know... The point is,

they have no perspective.

They have no imagination.

And that's what

brings us to now.

An opportunity

has presented itself

to make real criminals pay

while we, the good guys,

get a little payday...

a big payday for ourselves.

So, if you're with me,

the way I see it,

this marks

the first meeting of...

the Band of Robbers.

Okay, robbers, Tom?

Think of it like this.

Robin Hood and his merry men.

Robbing from the rich,

giving to the poor, keeping some money.

Keeping the money. You know?

I wrote up an oath...

- We're bad guys?

- No, we're heroes.

Sounds like bad guys.

When you steal from criminals,

it makes stealing more of a

good thing than a bad one.

- Hang on and I'll...

- It's still illegal though. Right?

Ben, do you wanna be working for Barnes

your whole life at the auto shop?

- Having to borrow money from your half-brother?

- I don't have a half-brother.

It's an expression.

Look.

My ex-fiance used to say,

"He's never gonna do anything special.

He's always

gonna be like a kid."

Man, we all know you're

talking about Amy right now.

She's my wife. Well, it doesn't

make the anecdote untrue, does it?

My hair is falling out.

You see that? My back hurts.

Before you know it I'm gonna

be one of these old guys

walking around in a wheelchair,

never did anything.

- Maybe Amy Lawrence does think I'm a kid.

- Tom.

Well, I'm a Toys R Us kid. And I own my

own handgun and a pretty nice minivan.

And I'm tired of people telling

me what I can and can't do.

And I think it's time that we

all did something valuable.

I think it's time that we all

did something meaningful.

Okay? Now listen to the oath.

Here we go.

"By joining this band,

I agree to stay loyal

and not share any band

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes