As Young as You Feel Page #2

- [Sneezes]

It's a wonder I have any appetite left.

First Grandpa gets fired,

then you sneeze, then the piccolo.

All we need around here

is a great big, shiny pipe organ.

[Sniffles]

## [Humming]

Oh, good morning, Grandpa.

- Good morning, Della.

- Whatcha doin' up so early?

- I thought you'd sleep till 10:00.

- I'm not sleepy.

Take my advice.

Sleep when you can.

- You want some coffee?

- Yes. Thanks.

Only do me a favor, Grandpa.

Don't sleep too late.

Yours is the first room I clean.

I assure you, Della, I have

no intention of sleeping late.

Thanks. Say, by the way...

what are you gonna do with

yourself all day now that you're 65?

I don't know.

Oh, go to the movies, I suppose.

There's a swell double bill at the Rialto.

Or maybe you could go up to the park and

play checkers with those other old men.

- [Scoffs]

- What's so bad about that?

Personally, when I think of

the drudgery I go through day by day...

I can't wait to get to be your age...

so I can live out

my life with dignity.

Dignity can be a very

empty feeling, Della.

Yeah, well, you can get used to it,

like me with the cooking.

Hey, I just thought of somethin'.

With you not workin',

you won't be bringin' any money in.

I'm afraid not.

Well, if you'll pardon

my saying so, Grandpa...

that's gonna be quite a blow.

- Financially speaking, I mean.

- I expect so.

Yeah, especially with the way prices

are going up these days.

Yesterday I went in to buy a soup bone...

just a common, ordinary soup bone.

"Seventy-eight cents," he says.

"Seventy-eight cents," I says to him.

"You used to throw 'em in for nothin'."

"Not no more," he says.

"Seventy-eight cents."

That'll give you a faint idea. Soup bones!

Seventy-eight cents!

[Scoffs, Sighs]

- So what happened then?

- "So what happened"?

So she picked up my hat

and threw it at me.

- Hit ya?

- Right in the mouth.

"Get out of the house," she yelled.

"I got enough to do without you gettin'

in my way all the time."

Twenty years ago, I'd have thrown

her out of the window for that.

I'm a Hungarian.

"Consolidated Motors."

"Consolidated Motors"?

What's Consolidated Motors got to do

with it? That's what I'd like to know.

- This is a public park...

- Never mind! Don't answer.

I'll find out myself.

[Joe] Now, this is the course

I'd like you to follow in all cases.

We'll put the letter on the automatic

typewriter. Leave the last paragraph...

Young man, what has Consolidated Motors

got to do with Acme Printing Services?

- Grandpa, what are you doing here?

- Never mind. Look at this.

It says I've been fired because it's

the policy of Consolidated Motors...

and its subsidiaries

not to hire men over 65.

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