Alice in Wonderland Page #2

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Nasty, low, vulgar things!

Oh, dear!

Wait, oh, Mouse!

Cats! Cats!

Cats!

William the Conqueror, whose

cause was favored by the pope,

was soon submitted to by the

English, who wanted leaders,

and had been of late much accustomed

to usurpation and conquest.

Who are you, please?

I am a dodo.

How do you do?

My name is Alice.

And you are very wet.

I'm afraid I am, but there isn't

much I can do about getting dry.

History is the driest

thing I know.

Shall we dry you

with history?

I'd be much obliged

if you could.

Listen well.

Edwin and Morcar,

the earls of

Mercia and Northumbria,

found it advisable

to go with Edgar Aetheling

to meet William and

offer him the crown.

William's conduct at

first was moderate,

but the insolence

of his Normans...

How are you

getting on, my dear?

Beautifully, thank you.

Shall I put you

to sleep now?

No, thank you!

Then you'd best run along.

I'm about to

recite some dates.

Yes, sir.

Thank you. Goodbye.

1585, Shakespeare was born,

1616, Shakespeare died...

Who are you?

I hardly know, sir,

just at present.

At least, I know who I was

when I got up this morning,

but I must have changed

several times since then.

What do you mean by that?

Explain yourself.

I can't explain myself,

because I'm not myself, you see.

I don't see!

I can't put it

more clearly,

for I can't understand it

myself to begin with.

And being so many different

sizes in one day is confusing.

It isn't.

Well, when some day

you turn into a chrysalis,

and after that

into a butterfly,

you'll find it

a bit queer, won't you?

Not a bit!

Well, maybe you wouldn't, but it

would certainly feel very queer to me.

You? Who are you?

I think you ought to tell me

who you are first.

Why?

Good day, sir.

Come back. I have

something important to say.

Yes?

Keep your temper.

Is that all?

No.

So you think you've changed, do you?

I'm afraid I have, sir.

What size do you

want to be?

I should like to be a little

larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind.

Three inches is such

a horrid height to be.

I am three inches high! It's

a very good height to be!

I'm sure it must be, sir, but

you see, I'm not used to it.

You'll get used

to it in time.

One side will

make you grow taller.

The other side will

make you grow shorter.

One side of...

Of what?

The mushroom.

Which side will

make me grow larger?

The large-making side,

of course.

I'll take a little

of both to make sure.

Oh, dear, now I'm too

big again, oh, Caterpillar.

Mr. Caterpillar,

sir, where are you?

Whoever lives here, it would never

do to come upon them this size.

Why, I should frighten them

out of their wits.

For the Duchess.

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