Adventures of a Taxi Driver Page #2

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You're going to get us all into trouble.

Anyone could just walk in.

And all that lot lying there.

Not to mention 20 cartons of hairspray

I found hidden under my bed.

Fell off the back of a

lorry, didn't they, Mum?

You're going to end up in the nick

with 10 years ahead of you.

Peter's going in the nick,

Peter's going in the nick.

Why can't you get an honest job for once?

What? Like driving a cab? Leave off.

Anyway, that's no more than

bleeding highway robbery,

so what are you doing telling me

to go straight?

Oh, choice. I like that.

Just don't ask me to bail

you out, that's all.

It's your funeral.

What'd I tell you, eh?

It's always like that.

Makes it a pleasure going to work

of a morning.

I tell you what'd cheer me up,

be to pick up a nice bit of crumpet.

Very handy for introductions, this motor.

I ran about town like you

And had better things to do

Than spending the time

I'll see that it's worth your while

Oh, baby

I know you've been running free

I think you'd have fun with me

Forget the rest

I'd like to test your driving style

Won't you be my

Cruising Casanova

Click your fingers

and I'll be over there

Smoothing your hair

Soothing your cares away

There's no refusing, Casanova

Stop the clock and working overtime

Cruising Casanova, be mine

- Where to, darling?

- Lambeth Bridge, please.

Right you are, then.

Nice morning, isn't it?

You off to work, then?

Yeah, I thought so. I can usually tell.

Being in this job

you have to be a bit of a psychologist.

What do you do for a living, eh?

No, don't tell me.

Let me guess.

I'd say you're a secretary, right?

Personal secretary to some oil magnate. Eh?

Really high-powered.

Don't let appearances fool you.

Be a right little raver, this one,

when it gets going.

Got a lovely little body on her, too.

No mistake.

Looks a bit miserable, though.

I know what she needs. Right?

That's another thing I can tell.

Whether a bird's had a good seeing

to or not the night before.

I reckon that one's had

a right thin time of it lately, don't you?

Born in London, were you?

No, don't tell me. Let me guess.

I'd say, judging from your accent,

that you're from somewhere up north, right?

Yes, I can usually tell.

Somewhere like Liverpool, maybe?

Yeah. Liverpool, I'd say.

She's weakening. What'd I tell you, eh?

Oh, yes, definitely softening up.

Stands out a mile.

Which side of the bridge, love?

- Middle.

- The middle?

Right, then. Middle it is.

That'll be... Here, hang on!

Hey! Hang on a minute, darling.

What about my fare?

Go away and leave me alone!

Please. Just leave me alone.

But I never laid a finger on you.

What's the matter with you?

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