Adventures In Public School Page #2

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I'm not

a dirty cocksucker.

It wasn't me.

The light from

the Quanta 6 supernova

is probably hitting

Earth right now.

Wow! Crazy!

Can I get my test back?

- Yeah, what's your name?

-lt's Liam Heap.

It's right there.

It's the only one there.

Right.

You're the kid that called me

"the dirty cocksucker."

That wasn't me.

Somebody wrote it on the desk.

You kids start

these nasty rumors

about me and Tony,

the Phys. Ed. teacher,

because you see me and Tony

hanging at lunch, shooting hoops?

Well, all right, yeah.

I had been with a man,

and it was Tony.

But I'm... I'm not

a dirty cocksucker.

Can I just have

my test back, please?

Okay.

You double-aced it, right?

I mean, you did, right?

You did. I can tell.

Ooh! It's written all over

your superb little face.

I almost think

we should get ice cream.

Almost.

You know what else

I was thinking?

I was thinking today...

um, I'm gonna go

to Cambridge with you.

I mean, why not?

You're gonna be there

all by yourself. Right?

Right?

Oh, well, it's locked

and zippered.

Well, let's just...

Oh, wait.

Hold on one second.

I have the key!

So I will...

Oh, wow! It is not

budging the vault.

I see.

It's the wrong key, Mom.

Cambridge. Oh, God!

University life.

Hey, you got any

hotties coming in?

No, I don't have

any girlfriends here.

Hey, what's that?

My friend book.

It's like online,

but not online.

As you can see, the top two

spaces are solidly filled,

but the third

is up for grabs.

If you're interested,

I can put you down.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

put me down there.

That list should fill up

and go viral.

Okay. I would really

like to cut in.

All right, he's all yours.

- Okay.

- Thanks.

Come here, you.

- This is nice.

- Yeah.

I feel like

a pretty cool kid.

You are such a cool kid.

I hope this is a long song,

'cause Grandma

is chomping at the bit

to dance with you.

You look like

a real man today, Liam.

What?

Good night!

Good night, Mom!

- Go ahead, open it.

- You already did.

Read it.

- Do you know what that means?

- That you opened it?

What else?

That I didn't

graduate high school?

No. You failed!

You failed home-school!

You failed us!

Look, I can take the test

again in four months.

There must be some kind of error.

6% in physics?

Physics, Liam.

You own physics!

Technically,

I don't own physics.

Technically,

physics owns me.

How can you get 6%?

- I caved.

- Caved how?

Under intense

high school pressures.

Bull crap!

You know this stuff.

This is why you've been such

a hush-hush bug. What...

What is it?

- Those questions were hard.

- Bull crap!

And plus, females.

I got all frightened,

and tingly, and--

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