Adventure in Baltimore Page #4

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It's from the Van Laden Memorial Fund.

But Mrs Van Laden left the money

to buy a stained glass window to her husband's memory.

We'll pay it back from the Easter offerings.

It's practically malfeasance.

I doubt the vestrymen will like it.

These things didnae happen in Dr Reed's time here.

I know, Dan. I'll never be the man he was.

I'm not denying you've done some nice work.

Many's the time I said those very words to my wife.

"The pastor," I says to Mary, "is a good man."

- But with faults.

- Aye.

Well, now, as to the books...

Start here on the pew holders' reference.

Gift from a parishioner. Very nice.

No, Dinah painted it.

Er...she's home early, isn't she?

Yes, she is.

Hm. Well, 'tis nice to have a lass with talent and spirit.

Especially if the spirit's guided and restrained

in its proper channels.

- Yes.

- 'Tis a matter for thought, all right, these days.

Young girls traipse around with all manner of people.

Even pugilists.

Now, that's a thought, all right.

The important thing is recognising the danger signals

in their changing the route of the train.

- Do you not agree?

- Oh, I do indeed, Dan.

As long as one does not derail the train

so it never gets to its destination.

Hm. Oh, aye.

Ahem.

No, no. Stand up straight. Take advantage of your height.

Yes, Pa.

Keep your guard high.

I wish certain people would leave my paints alone

and stick with the trombone.

- I haven't touched your paints.

- Keep your guard up.

Where to this morning, dear?

Oh, just anywhere.

It's wonderful going out to paint, with no problems.

- I hope things stay that way.

- Why shouldn't they?

I can't get in any problems just painting.

Bye.

Well...prepare to defend yourself, Gene.

Hey, hey. Stay on your feet.

HE SNORES:

HE SNORES:

Not bad. Not bad at all, for a woman.

Needs a mite more red, though.

- Thank you very much.

- No trouble at all, little lady.

Now, would you please go away?

There's no question. You need red there, in the middle, on the nose.

That nose is OK.

I don't wish to disagree, but I've seen lots of paintings,

and, that way, it ain't no good.

- Looks good to me. Ain't that right?

- That's right.

Looks like you're wrong.

When I'm wrong, I'll let you know.

That nose ain't no good without more red.

- Here. Is that enough red for you?

- MEN ALL LAUGH

- Gentlemen, now, please!

- Sit down, darling, will you?

Stop that, please, gentlemen.

MEN ALL SHOU Gentlemen, please!

- Oh, you've ruined my painting!

- Gentlemen!

WHISTLE TRILLS:

HE SNORTS:

POLICEMAN BLOWS WHISTLE Gentlemen!

TELEPHONE RINGS:

Hello?

Who? Mr Wade?

No.

Oh, yeah, I'm Tom Wade.

Do I know a WHO?

A Miss Smith?

No, I don't.

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