Admission Page #2

Rachael, you know

Portia's not good with kids.

It's not her fault.

Kids just don't take to some people.

I don't know what you were thinking.

Sorry, he's right.

They're like pit bulls. They can smell fear.

Good night.

Take them all.

"A man may do no synne with his wyf,."

"Ne hurte hymselven with his owene knyf."

You know, if I get Clarence's job,

this would be my last travel season.

Lovely and wonderful.

I've got everything timed out.

I'll be back in time for the department lunch.

And I've ordered everything,

you just have to pick up the chicken.

And I will stop and get the famous bean salad

on my way home.

Ah, the famous bean salad.

Is that horrible Woolf woman

going to be there?

Uh.

Helen is the preeminent

Virginia Woolf scholar.

It was quite a coup to get her from Cambridge.

But I think she has other plans.

Lovely and wonderful.

Oh, I like this life.

I do, I do.

Good. So do I.

It's so wonderfully simple.

Well, we're simple folk.

Woof.

Excuse me?

You just patted me on the head like a dog.

Oh, did I?

Good, doggie.

"Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote."

"The droghte of Marche

hath perced to the roote."

Hi. Thank you so much for coming.

My pleasure. We love Deerfield students.

Oh, I'm so pleased. Good.

So, can I help you bring in your things?

Yes, please.

Princeton, in the nation's service

and in the service of all nations.

So, you all want to know

the secret formula for getting in, right?

Take out your pens. Write this down.

There is no secret formula.

Left on Pony Run Drive.

But I will tell you what not to do.

No champagne. No baked goods.

And when you phone, it is noted in your file.

So put the reins

on those eager parents of yours.

We're looking for passion.

Whatever it's for, doesn't matter.

Passion.

Right on Shady Lane.

Does that mean that

every Princeton undergraduate is a genius?

Or a prodigy? Absolutely not.

Although, we certainly

wouldn't hold it against you.

Almost enough for everyone.

Recalculating.

Recalculating. Recalculating.

Make a U-turn as soon as possible.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Portia Nathan. Princeton admissions office.

I know. I'm John.

- Yes. And you said you went to Dartmouth?

- Uh-huh.

Yeah, and my dad, and his dad, and his dad.

Um, a legacy.

A legacy of what, I'm not really sure.

So, you're chopping some wood here?

I'm showing them

how to build a sustainable irrigation system.

This is my Third World Development class.

Well, nice ax.

Great ax.

- So, let's get to it.

- Yeah.

Hi, there. You all want to know

the secret formula for getting in, right?

Well, take out your pens.

Take 'em out.

Yes?

I'll tell you what I'd like to know.

Why should I apply to an elitist institution

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