A Merry Friggin' Christmas Page #2
I just want the kids to
have a good Christmas.
Me, too.
- Dad?
- Hey, hi, what are you doing?
Hi, Dougie doodle.
Who's gonna feed Dale
while we're gone?
- Oh, that would be...
- Farhad.
- Who's Farhad?
- Mom's ESL student.
- What's ESL?
- Remember, English as a second language?
- Why don't you tell him, Dad?
- I'll race you upstairs.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh.
Dashing through the snow.
In a one-horse open sleigh.
O'er the fields we go.
Laughing all the way.
Bells on Bobtail ring.
Making spirits bright.
- Son of a b*tch.
- Mom, Dad said "b*tch."
B*tch isn't a bad word, Bug.
Neither is bastard or ass.
Hey, you guys, come on.
Hey, we're twins!
Ha ha ha, merry Christmas!
Licence and proof of
insurance, please.
Awesome.
So, I did clock you doing
67 in a 45, Mr. Mitchler.
Yeah, the bum deal about that is,
it's a 450-dollar infraction,
but there is some good news. You can pay
online now, in the state of Wisconsin.
Yeah, it's a real sweet website,
takes Discover,
so you get the cash back which,
you know, helps out.
Alright, kids,
Take care! Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas.
- You bet.
- Oh, where the heck can they be?
- Oh, don't get your knickers in a knot.
- You having a good time, Dad?
- Oh yeah, I'm delirious.
I want some milk.
You have to wait 'til supper
like the rest of us, Cale.
- Where is the sex offender?
- He's not a sex offender!
What should I call
him then, Willy Wanker?
With the help of our
marriage counsellor,
me and Dave have worked
through his transgressions.
So my husband, Dad,
Hey you guys, cut it out! Where the
hell did you get that thing from?
I took it.
Well, put it the hell back
from where you took it from!
Thank you.
Aw, crud, I can't find my camera.
Mitch, go look for it, will you?
For cripe's sake,
we're not National Geographic.
They're not some bunch of bonobos.
Mitch, they have never
been here for Christmas.
Well, whose fault is that? Not mine. Boyd's
the one who thinks he's too good for us.
Having my family here
means everything to me.
So quit being such an a-hole,
and go look for my G-D camera!
They're here!
Shut up, tramp stamp!
Mitch, hurry up, Boyd's here.
- Boyd!
- Hey! Oh, honey!
- Mom!
- I love you.
I love you. It's great to be home.
You are looking fine as wine.
Can you believe it, Boyd,
all of us together at Christmas!
I know, it's great.
Well, where's the Nel?
Nelson and the baby are
meeting us at church.
- Gotcha.
- Isn't this perfect, Boyd?
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"A Merry Friggin' Christmas" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_merry_friggin'_christmas_1968>.
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