A Merry Friggin' Christmas

Synopsis: Boyd Mitchler and his family must spend Christmas with his estranged family of misfits. Upon realizing that he left all his son's gifts at home, he hits the road with his dad in an attempt to make the 8-hour round trip before sunrise.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Tristram Shapeero
Production: Phase 4 Films
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

Yeah, we're in the same time zone.

I don't know if you caught that,

I said it like Jeopardy.

So what do you need?

Oh, oh, right. So anyway,

I'm calling to tell you:

I scored myself a kid, a little boy.

- I'm a dad.

- Really?

- He seems to have procreated.

- Eeww.

I was calling to say,

- I want you to be the godfather.

- Really? We would be honoured.

That is just the best, Boyd.

Jeez, that is so...

I know it's short notice but

the baptism's on the 24th.

Oh, absolutely. We wouldn't

miss it for the world.

- Sweet.

- January or February?

No Boyd, December. December 24th.

Oh, you can't wait for it.

December? What?

Nelson, you can't have a

baptism on Christmas Eve.

It doesn't...

Wait that would mean

that I'd have to spend

Christmas with Dad.

I'll smoke in my Goddamn

house if I want to.

It's my house. Name's right

there on the mortgage.

Right there on the mailbox.

His name on the mortgage, Donna?

His name on the friggin' mailbox?

No sir, it is not, didn't think so.

Ipso facto ergo,

not his Goddamn house.

Jeezo! Man you exhaust me, Mitch.

You know it is a dream come true for me

to have my family home on Christmas.

There's no way they were

gonna get a motel room now

at this late date,

and with Boyd's asthma...

Asthma? Any other restrictions

Captain Wheezy wants to put on me?

Well, there is one more thing.

I was planning on doing venison

for Christmas Eve supper,

but apparently, Boyd's

family doesn't eat red meat

- and I was...

- Christ's sake!

Is that all of Douglas' stuff?

- Si. What about Vera's?

- I hid it in the car this morning.

- Oh, you're aces!

- Tu tambien!

- So, you ready to see your dad?

- Yeah, can't wait.

- I'm actually looking forward to it.

- Really?

No, I'd rather be sodomized

by an angry clown!

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